Here I am again bathing in the fluorescent lights, hours from bedtime. The person who said goodnight to me six hours ago will say good morning six hours from now. Perfect time to think about SPELLS
Targets blasts off upward (the like overall direction of their upward stance) 1d4x10' per caster level. So a person can aim themselves or if you cast it on an unwilling target they get a save.
Target discharges 1d6 random spells they have at their disposal as random monsters with HD equal to the level of the spell times 2. These monsters have their own disposition and may be hostile to the caster or the target or both, depending. They last for 1 round per caster level and cannot stray more than 100 yards from the caster. If slain, the spell is lost.
Caster exhales a poisonous vapor, but it doesn't trail more than a finger's breadth from their lips. If they exhale into a person's mouth for a full round, they must save or die. Spell lasts 1 round per level, ends on discharge.
Caster melds target weapon into target's body. Target becomes proficient with that particular weapon. Spell is permanent. (tigers with axes??)
Touch a pregnant lady with the enchanted rusty, bloody nail (has to be at least like an inch long per month of pregnant she is) and she immediately goes into labor
Cast this spell and as long as you're grabbing a person by the throat, they have to recount every detail of their day from the moment they woke up until the present, and they can't do anything else until they're done. Lasts 1 turn per level or until a person finishes talking
Target becomes unable to dream. A permanent spell.
Prepare a bath of fresh ram's milk, mixed with two pints of toads' blood, barrow dirt, stirred with a board from a gibbet where a king was hung. Drown a cat in the mixture. Bathe in the mixture. Pour the mixture onto the ground and bury the cat in a shallow grave. Within the week the cat will emerge from the ground and speak to you in its own secret language the location of your sworn enemy and the way to travel there. The only sentence it will ever speak. Cat will stay close at hand for the rest of its days (unnumbered), or until it sees that enemy slain.
Caster can transfer STR points from one side of the body to the other, so if a caster has for instance a strength of 11, they can make it so now the left side (arm, leg, face) is 2 and the right side (arm, legs, neck, pecs) is 20. 1 round/level
Caster can take off their own face as a mask. Face underneath is soft and dough-like, takes d4+3 days to solidify into a new, permanent face. Old face sticks around as a mask with toughness like iron.
An evil tree 40 feet high immediately grows from the ground where you throw the dagger. Grows into walls, ceilings. Roots and branches spread out in a 40 foot radius at the crown. Black bark, seeps poison sap (save or hallucinations for d4 hours if touched), if allowed to speak only screams (it does have a face but it's a plant so it can't usually talk), attacks all who come near if any of its limbs arent embedded in stone. Dies in 1 round per three levels. AC 16, hp = caster level x 7, attack = caster level + 6, damage as a giant club, or if it bites then as a greatsword and automatic subsequent damage due to being in an evil tree's chomping mouth.