Party on!

I'm sick and I have a fever and the game tonight is cancelled while I shiver and drink tea instead.

So here are a few random tables I've been using to populate the world.  Outside the castle is an army of twelve-thousand-one-hundred-sixty-one skeletons (thank you James Raggi for the exact numbers), and inside is a palace of partiers: the royal family, 108 aristocrats and their retinues visiting from nearby cities, as well as servants, cooks, butlers, pages, prostitutes, fish-women, crow-head men, lions, frogs in cages, free-wandering turtles, a flailceratops, tumblers, fire-breathers, acrobats, opera-singers, beat poets, chamber choirs, string sextets, wandering orgies, and so on.  Exploring the palace is difficult because it's huge and everyone's drunk.  Leaving the palace is difficult because the woods are filled with skeletons.

My players have seen most of this stuff so I don't mind posting it.

Random Partygoer 2d10 (for the first list I cross it off and write a new one after I use it)

1. Naked chick or dude
2. They are wearing an ornate mask
3. An ancient woman in tiny clothes
4. Sumptuous beautiful dress or tuxedo
5. Someone uninvited who got in, but no one noticed yet
6. A random aristocrat
7. Smoking a cigarette from a jade holder
8. Elaborate face tattoo of an eagle
9. Striped harlequin’s outfit
10. Unusual hair – long dreadlocks, three feet high, mohawk, etc

1. Totally wasted
2. Trying to sleep with PC
3. Trying to poison another partygoer
4. Sober and straight-edge and hates this party
5. Dancing, really oblivious
6. Pretends to be interested in conversation, but immediately tries to extricate self
7. Friendly, immediately the PCs friend
8. Sleeping
9. Extremely bored, stinks of ennui, alone
10. Bursting with secrets about an important person

Skeleton Warbands

75% chance of 2d6 Archers - 1 HD, ac 8 or 12, shortbow
60% chance of 1d6 Bonebrides - 3 HD, ac 5 or 15, touch attack 2d6 flesh-to-ash, can fly 40'
             These are skeletons with a star-shaped halo, they float through the air as if in water; make a hollow clacking sound; cast 3 shadows – a black shadow, a dim shadow, and a red shadow; disintegrate at the call of the mourning dove; and cannot cross lines of salt.
60% chance of 1d8 knights on dead steeds - 3 HD, ac 2 or 18, greatsword or bastard sword and shield
30% chance of 1 or 2 Gigantic skeletons - 10 HD, ac 6 or 14, has the head of an elephant skull.  2 slams 1d8+Str, and knock back.  Special: the central eye glows red . . . Will save or picked up in the air and held, and then at the beginning of the next round crushed for 1d8 damage and dropped. I run these monsters as if each body part has a separate bank of hitpoints - each leg 2 HD, each arm 2 HD, chest has 3 HD, skull has 3 HD.
50% chance of 1d8 Mancatchers - 1 HD, ac 8 or 12, they wield shepherd's crooks and hooked nets.
50% chance of 1d4 Pipers - 1 HD, no attack, but their piping causes a horrible dance.  On their turn, each skeleton ally may shift 5 feet.  On the player's turn, the player must make a Will save or move as the piper wishes.
75% chance of 2d6 Regenerating skeletons - 1/2 HD, ac 8 or 12; they wield iron spikes with a groove running down the side, they stick into living creatures and let the blood flow over their bones.  They're into it.  Or they can throw their skulls to bite enemies from afar, 1d4 damage.  They regenerate one round after death.

What’s On the Skeleton? 1 in 6 chance for this table, for each skeleton; or maybe 1d4 per warband

1. A heavy 10 feet long rope around its neck
2. Metal teeth – extra bite +4 1d8 damage
3. a beautiful array of blue, purple, and red flowers sprouts from its skull
4. a small harp
5. the skeleton is petrified from age; +2 AC, +2 damage
6. a spell is carved into its skull, which it can cast.  1. shrink person 2. fly 3. gust of wind
7. a random potion
8. a black stone set into its eye-socket which can cause fear once/day; or a red stone, which can cast fireball
9. a beautiful purple cape, or an iron crown, or an ivory breastplate
10. a Siamese cat, or a vampire monkey, or 2d6 crows

Encounters in the Woods 

1. A White Stag
2. A Black Stag, with prayer flags trailing from its horns, and a stag-hunter of Unwerth the Immense not far behind
3. 2d4 wolves
4. A great howl of wind from the north
5. 3 snow leopards
6. A bone-bride;
7. 1d10 regenerating skeletons
8. 1d10 regenerating skeletons
9. a giant skeleton and 1d6 normal skeletons
10. 2d4 wolves, fleeing desperately from 4d10 normal skeletons
11. a herd of deer, fleeing desperately from 4d10 normal skeletons
12. a wizard encased in ice, surrounded by stone jars, inside which are growing a purple vine.  At night a flower blooms, and a nightingale emerges from the blooming flower.
13. a retinue of 2d6 musical skeletons, bearing 1d6 people in wooden cages;
14. a single hopping skeleton with one leg and a jeweled eye
15. a flock of birds and fleeing forest creatures (deer, gaunt rabbits, black squirrels), fleeing from a forest fire! And 2d6 skeletons bearing torches
16. 4 skeletons all chained together, and also an exhausted, unconscious powerful cleric of Otin the Gravelord, who thought he could gain power from them
17. a 5th-level necromancer riding atop the skeleton of a giant, striding over the forest; wears a jeweled amulet around his neck
18. a crowd of 2d6 terrified villagers, carrying children, valuables, pets (like a black iguana)
19. a head doomsayer and a retinue of 2d20 flagellants, like in the Seventh Seal
20. a skeleton on a white horse, blowing a horn of pestilence. Disease spreads to all who hear it! DC 14 Fortitude or contract a disease; a black star appears on the forehead, and the skin begins to draw in, bones show forth, then skin sloughs off… the dead come to life; incubation 1d6 days; then gain properties of undead, and lose 1d4 CON every incubation period.