Thursday, December 3, 2020

Year end ranking off all the video games I played this year, including the ones where I only played 4-10 hours and called it (UPDATED WITH SOME OBVIOUS OMISSIONS)

But not the ones I only played like half an hour of because that's not really fair

Death Stranding 1/10 -- I hate this fucking game
Dragon Age: Inquisition 2/10 -- starts strong, completely falls apart. what is up with all the bugs? overly serious, writing is on par with the worst mediocre sci-fi channel movies. terrible game. but i got to kill a couple dragons so it has that going for it.
Assassin's Creed Valhalla 2/10 -- absolutely terrible corporate trash, I wish I hadn't given it a chance. Looks good but that's about it.
Mortal Shell 3/10 -- pretends to have the depth and cruelty of fromsoft but without the precision and originality
Control 3/10 -- bland shooter in a drab office building themed with a shallow coating of house of leaves / SCP
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune 3/10 -- this game really does not hold up well! looks bad, stilted action, leaden gunfighting, trashy story, bad monsters! i remember this being so thrilling when it came out, but in 2020 it's not good!
Animal Crossing: New Horizons 3/10 -- I don't vibe. A dear friend bought me a copy to try to get me into it, but, I don't know. It's relaxing and neat, I guess. I've seen some cool islands, but, I like those people's actual art much more than their ACNH islands, like, their drawings or cakes or whatever. Nothing against it. Just not for me. 
Kentucky Route Zero 4/10 -- Got I think one episode in and stopped. Pretty cool, just not enough gameplay for me.
No Man's Sky 4/10 -- I just don't like procedural games
Outer Wilds 4/10 -- honestly a really cool game but weirdly empty, I don't know. seems cool. 
Final Fantasy 7: Remake 4/10 -- fuck this game, however, I had fun with this
God of War (2018) 4/10 -- fuck this game too. "Father! Father! Father look at this! Father up there!" I hate that kid, he shoulda died
The Witcher 3 4/10 -- seems on the surface like I'd love it but the endless cutscenes, the witcher vision, the way geralt bounces all over the place in combat instead of just doing what I want him to... fuckkk
Horizon Zero Dawn 5/10 -- beautiful, vivid, but boring
Fall Guys: Ultimate Knockout 5/10 -- funny, vivid, lonely
Spelunky 2 5/10 -- aggressively cruel but fun little puzzle box
Dragon Quest XI 5/10 -- completely empty and stupid plays-itself RPG. I don't regret the time I spent on this game, I guess
New Super Mario Bros. Wii U Deluxe 6/10 -- it's good, but treads too much of the same ground. Lacks the sense of exploration or weirdness of Super Mario World, not as tight as Super Mario 3. I don't know, it's good.
Resident Evil 2: Remake 6/10 -- this game is cool. Creepy and gross and sometimes scary, however, I feel like it falls apart as soon as you leave the mansion, and it's downhill from there. I didn't manage to play the second run. 
Ghost of Tsushima 6/10 -- Jin Sakai is hot, he's good with a sword, fun and beautiful island, it's just so long and monotonous though
Super Mario Sunshine 6/10 -- what is up with this game? I can't get into it but it seems fun. I have a soft spot for Mario...
The Last of Us Part Two 6/10 -- I dragged this game through the mud but in retrospect it was really fun. the story is just vapid, thinking about it makes me stupider, and I have a hunch it's a zionist narrative, which others have also picked up on, and which makes the stupidity of the story even grosser to think about. but it looks so good... I don't know.
Hades 7/10 -- Okay so this game rocks. Slick, fast, looks great, plays great, great writing, great acting. You can skip the story and get straight to the action, or you can get to know all the characters and get immersed in their stories and relationships. Its vivid and iridescent colors look truly new, and the variety of playstyles available in the different weapons are fantastic. However... chance-based rogue-like games like this one arouse a compulsive/addictive tendency in myself I really don't enjoy. Plus, the resolution of the story feels much more limited than I expected, and doesn't really meet the promise it appeared to make near the beginning. And finally, eventually I found the levels to be unpleasantly repetitive, with not nearly enough variation or scope to keep me interested past credits. I don't want to downplay this game's accomplishments though, it's really fantastic.
Red Dead Redemption 2 7/10 -- looks amazing, great writing, fun shooting, slow-paced in a way I have trouble breaking into on a casual weeknight, occasionally gates me out of stuff I want to do, like, just turn in a quest or something, because the game has a story to tell. I'm only on chapter 3, still having fun but its welcome is wearing thin . . . another ride and shoot mission? what's with the forced slow walk? why is there so little to discover out in the world? I could see this one's rating swinging up or down depending on how it goes from here
Doom Eternal 7/10 -- fun, hard, stressful, gross, good game
Disco Elysium 8/10 -- Now here's a good game. An incredibly engaging and original sci fi noir world with a fascinating protagonist. Looks great, amazing writing, amazing acting. Why did I stop playing this game?
Persona 5 8/10 -- got about 8 hours in and bought the Royal Version, haven't touched it since. seems great!!
Super Mario Galaxy 8/10 -- great game, what can I say! fun, exciting, imaginative, but misses the sense of exploration and relaxation of the other 3d mario games, especially Odyssey and 64.
Nioh 2 8/10 -- this game stressed me the fuck out but I beat the first go of it. twitchy, HARD, fun, cool, slick, weird, embraces player freedom, also truly obsessive in a way I admire. good game.
Dark Souls 3 9/10 -- Fromsoft does it again. A massive, beautiful, strange world, full of people and situations and monsters and incredible bosses. Astonishingly the DLC is even better than the main game. Hard, but never too hard. Great game.
Inside 9/10 -- this game fucks. Play it if you haven't.
Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild 9/10 -- Incredible game, the only truly original and fun open world game I've ever played.
The Last of Us (Part One) 9/10 -- Starts so understated, turns into a beautiful, authentic, moving story. Magnificent game.
Final Fantasy VII 10/10 -- Okay honestly this is probably more like 8/10 but I can't break through the diamond-hard shield of nostalgia surrounding this one. Falls apart a little at the end, but really, it's a moving and beautiful story, the fighting is perfect, the world is so cleverly written, Cloud is an icon, and of course, Sephiroth... Sephiroth!!! Tifa! Aeris!! These characters are like old friends etched into the foundations of my psyche. But also it's a great game. Don't fight me on this one I'll cry.
Bloodborne 10/10 -- So strange, dark, fast, gory, and fun. The level design so tight and deliberate, its imagining of different planes of existence so original and terrifying. Always riding just on the edge of overwhelming difficulty, with always a chance for breakthrough. In scope sometimes I feel like this game is less than the Dark Souls games, but it accomplishes such a vivid and original world that I can't help but rank it above. Phenomenal game.
Super Mario 64 10/10 -- The Best. Years later, so tight, so fun, so focused on freedom, and so willing to do something simple as well as possible. Such a joy. And the music! Great game.

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