should the game world act the way the players want it to?

 Consider a pretty common scenario: players meet a monster and want to manipulate it into doing something. They have a spell or ability and are trying to use it in an unusual or counterintuitive way to achieve a result the DM does not expect. When does it do what the player wants it to?

A few things I keep in mind for this decision:

1. It's fun and rewarding for player to have agency and get a result they want

2. Players make sense of things differently than the DM might make sense of things

3. DM's job is also to create an appropriately challenging experience. Denying a result will make an experience that feels more challenging, whether fairly or not

4. A world that works consistently and in a way that matches our reality will reward lateral and creative thinking, thus creating a more engaging game

5. In fantasy, there are physics that have no analogue to real life, and cannot be modeled through common sense.

6. In real life, sometimes the world behaves in ways that don't make sense to us, because we don't see the whole picture. This is true in video games as well -- we hope that our new spell or gun will work in some way, or that physics will interact together in a particular way, but in fact they do not. 

7. Sometimes the player simply has a bad idea

8. Sometimes, the DM might have an unconscious or difficult to articulate reason for why something shouldn't work the way a player wants. In my experience I've sometimes found that reasons might lie in barely perceived interactions with other game mechanics. Sometimes there are other reasons.

9. The DM might want to provide a certain aesthetic experience that resists something working the way the player wants it to. 

10. When the DM doesn't allow the world to act in the way the player wants, the player may feel as though the world is intractable or unresponsive, or that the DM is being hard-headed or stubborn instead of reasonable, particular if the reason doesn't make sense to the player

11. A world that feels intractable to the player is probably the worst possible outcome. The greatest strength of role playing games is complete freedom of imagination, so a break-down in that aspect is really undesirable. As game narrows in tractability, it becomes less and less engaging, until player will disengage and do the next most interesting thing to them, or if nothing is available, find a way to cope with the situation. 

12. A tool that can be used here is the relationship between player and DM. If DM can communicate that they realize that the outcome may be disappointing, or any other variation of what is going on for them in the moment which maintains the emotional connection, this can really ameliorate some of the bad outcomes. 

With that in mind, I tend away from automatic "yes" and maybe hew a little too close to automatic "no." It's been helpful for me to experiment with playing games that are really built around collaboration and lateral problem solving, like White Hack. In 5e D&D, players are so powerful that I tend toward no. I wonder if this could be improved on my part?? On the other hand, see point 8 above.

Makes me wanna play more White Hack.

THE ICE PALACE

 When you go into the Ice Palace the first thing you see in the ice encrusted first chamber are these statues of kings. They’re about twice as big as you are and sitting on thrones made of ice. The floor here is slick with ice and the color of a white sky about to snow. You can’t see yourself in it. There’s a door between the kings all frozen over with a sheet of thick ice. It’s formed a thick crust and you can barely see the cracks where the door fits to the icy walls. You can see your breath steaming out from your scarf. But when you draw the golden scepter with the ruby at the end and swing it like a club at the door the gout of bright fire that pours out makes the ice give way in slabs of ice that slide to the floor leaving streaks of cold water that run underneath your feet, making the floor even more slippery. The door is decorated with gold traceries that form symbols you’ve seen before, in the other palaces. The door opens inwards when you push it with your palm, and you can find yourself in the long hallway covered in dark ice which shines like crystal and glass in your cool light pouring from the lamp fixed to your belt. 

neural network swamp of monsters

 Nick made like a neural network or something and plugged a few of my posts into it and sent me the results. I don't really know what's happening here or how it's able to do this but it seems like he's made a captured demon or spirit and has taught it how to write in my style and is making it make up scenarios. Check this shit out.

THRICE CURSED PRISON GENERATOR

1 Three men chained together - some prisoners standing around in chains (d6) with a couple guards directing them. 2 In a stone vat the size of a kid’s tub (but deeper) is a pink jelly, suspended in there are electric eels. 3 Many prisoners in a complex queue from door to door which forms a maze - movement in this room is difficult because there are so many people. 4 A large crowd of people milling about and shouting at each other. They all look unhappy. There's no sign of any guards or orderlies here. 5 The same as 4 but there's one guard who looks like he has lost his mind. He keeps trying to hit everyone with a stick. 6 All the prisoners have been stripped naked except for their shackles. Their clothes were taken away by the guards before they left. 7 A small group of prisoners are being fed through an opening into another room where they're put on display. 8 A huge crowd of people watching a fight between two guys wearing boxing gloves. One guy punches really hard while the other blocks it. 9 Two groups of people, both dressed very differently, are arguing. Some of the women are carrying babies and toddlers. 10 There's a big building full of people sitting down, waiting to be processed. 11 People are lying face-down on tables that are covered up by sheets. 12 An enormous open space filled with hundreds of people all facing outwards towards a central area. At first glance, it seems to be a giant arena. But when you get closer you can see that most of these people aren't staring at anything; they're just looking blankly ahead. 13 Men are chained hand-to-hand to a wall in a long row. Each man is holding onto the chain of the next prisoner. 14 A group of men working together, digging something out of the ground.

"Also here: d4+3 knights, d6+1 guards, 2d20 slaves. They are all loyal to Pallid Gross. The only way to escape is to kill everyone else and make it look like an accident. "

44 A huge stone room with a gigantic statue of some god or other. It's made by stacking up thousands of small stones. 45 A man is chained to the wall. He has no clothes on. 46 The walls are covered in graffiti and blood. 47 There are two rooms, each containing 3 prisoners. One prisoner is chained to the wall in each. 48 Two men are sitting in chairs facing each other across a table. 49 The floor is strewn with broken glass. 50 This building is full of doors, each leading to another room. 51 In a large open space there are tables and chairs lined up. 52 Several dozen men are gathered together in a crowd. 53 All the prisoners have been stripped naked except for their shackles.

Pretty good and accurate but could be weirder, so he moved on to:

 THE SHATTERED LABYRINTHS OF ILLITH VARN GENERATOR

AFTER THE SKOROS ORB IS RECOMBINED: The Skoros Orb Beholder can be challenged in the chapel, and must be beaten down before the party can proceed to the next level. Connections to: The Purple Dragon. Level Three. Level Four: The Tower of Life, the Pit of Death, and the Great Maze. LEVEL FOUR A vast maze, full of death traps, and a few living creatures. A tower of light, filled with angels, and a pit of darkness, filled with devils. The home of the Blue God, who is mostly nice, but can be very mean. BOSS: THE BLUE GOD: A chaotic god, whose power comes from the three aspects of his being: Light, Dark, and Chaos. He doesn't like to fight. But he will if you challenge him. A small dragon, a little more powerful than a regular one. He's a bit of an asshole, and likes to play tricks on the PCs. Connections to: The Pit of the Damned. Level Five. THE PIT OF THE DAMNED: A bottomless pit, filled with the souls of the damned, who are imprisoned by the evil gods of Hell. The place is the home of a powerful demon, who has been trapped there for centuries. The Tower of Life: The tower is a prison, and the only way out is to defeat its guardian, the Angel of Life, who can be found at the top. Once the angel is killed, the prisoners may escape. The Tower of Life is connected to the Pit of the Damned by the Bridge of Souls. BOSS: THE ANGEL OF LIFE: A big armored guy, who looks really happy most of the time. The Tower of the Damned: The tower is a prison, and the only way out is to defeat its guardian, the Devil of Death, who can be found at the top. Once the devil is killed, the prisoners may escape. The Tower of the Damned is connected to the Pit of the Damned by the Bridge of Souls. THE GREAT MAZE: A maze, full of monsters. A huge room, with a staircase leading up to a door that leads to the outside world. A hidden chamber, where a great deal of treasure is kept. Connected to the Pit of the Damned by the Stairway of the Dead. BOSSES: THE DEVIL OF DEATH: A fiend, who is always in pain, and who can cast 9th level spells. THE MONSTER KING: A giant monster, a combination of many different types of beasts, with the heads and bodies of each type of beast. It's covered in spikes, and breathes acid, fire, lightning, and poison. Its eyes glow red when it's angry. Connections to: The Great Maze, the Tower of Life, the Pit of Death. THE STAIRWAY TO THE DEAD: A secret passage, which connects the Great Maze to the Pit of the Damned and the Tower of the Damned. The entrance is disguised as a statue, and is guarded by the statues of two dead people. THE TOWER OF LIGHT AND DARKNESS: A temple, full of candles, in which the Blue God dwells. A lot of powerful magic. Evil angels and devils, who are also the guardians of the tower. BOSSES: THE ANGELS: High-level demons, who have been banished to Hell. They're all pretty nice, but they'll still try to kill you. Some of them can use magic. The Devils: Low-level devils, who were sent here by the gods to keep an eye on the Tower of Light and Darkness. They are not very bright, but they will fight to protect their home. THE BLUE GOD: A chaotic god, whose power comes from the three aspects of his being: Light, Dark, and Chaos. He doesn't like to fight. But he will if you challenge him. Connections to: The Tower of Life, the Great Maze, the Tower of the Damned. Level Five. Level Six: The Temple of the Gods, and the Throne of the King of Hell. LEVEL SIX A series of temples, full of gods. A throne, with the body of a man, who is the king of the devils. A lot of powerful spells. BOSS: THE GODS: All the gods of the Pantheon, except for the Blue God.

HERES ANOTHER ONE

WHAT IS THE DEEPEST HISTORY OF THIS PLACE? The history of the place goes back much further than any of us have lived. It is a kind of nexus, center point, and crossroads of many different worlds, realities, and planes. The mountains of hunger were once a great ocean, and the seas of blood were once a vast desert. This land was the birthplace of the gods, and the home of the Titans and the Giants. The gods created the Earth and the heavens, and the first humans. The Great War between the Gods and the Titans destroyed the world, and the survivors fled to the stars. A long time passed. Eventually, the gods and the Titans reconciled, and the Gods returned, and the world was remade, and a new order arose. All things changed. In the distant future, the gods will destroy the world again. But this time, they must come to the aid of the human race. The Shatterstone of Ice, the Palace of the Sun, and the Tower of the Dead: As the sun rises over the horizon, the tower appears as if it is made of ice, with the palace at its base, and the shattered stone at the top. When the sun sets, the tower disappears and the palace and the broken stone reappear. A hundred years ago, three young men of the village of Rethnor set out to explore the nearby ruins and dungeons of the castle. They found the entrance to a hidden passage and descended into a dark tunnel, where the light of their torches revealed a large chamber filled with statues. There was also a strange altar, and a door. The three explorers searched the room, but could find nothing else of note. One of them, however, noticed that the floor beneath the altar had a peculiar quality to it, as if there was a hole in the ground. He approached the altar, and cast a spell of detection upon the area, which showed a number of tunnels, some blocked off by doors, others leading to other rooms. The explorer opened the closest one to see a staircase descending into the darkness. The second and third explorers, who had been searching the rest of the chamber, joined him at the bottom of the stairs. Together they explored the passages and found more chambers, and eventually came upon the room that had been discovered earlier. Here, the walls and floors were covered in runes, and the air was thick with the scent of sulfur and decay. The explorers did not venture farther. Instead, they retreated to the secret stairway, and climbed back up. The next morning, the two remaining explorers went back down the stairwell and continued exploring the ruined castle. The first adventurer, now sickly and weak, decided that he would not risk the dangers of the dungeon again. The other, however, felt drawn to continue his explorations. He followed the other adventurer's torchlight through a doorway, and emerged in another hallway, whereupon he saw the figure of a woman standing before him. She was tall, beautiful, and clad all in white. Her hair flowed like molten gold, and her eyes seemed to glow from within.

AND ANOTHER -- for this one he says he would let it generate, and then he would write something weird to balance out the generic fantasy stuff, and let it continue

WHAT HAPPENED EVEN BEFORE THAT?? Well, before all this, there were some people who lived in the mountains, and they made a deal with spirits of the air to live in peace and prosperity. The spirit of the mountain gave them a great gift: immortality. But the price of this bargain was that their children would be born with wings, and fly away to join the rest of the birds. So the mountain became known as the Mountain of Wings, and it was a place where all kinds of creatures could come together without fear of harm. It was a very nice place. The mountain also granted its inhabitants the power of flight, so that they might travel anywhere. But the mountain hid a terrible secret: the true creator of all reality was buried there, tormented and shrieking. His name was Uldru, and he hated everything. He had created the world, but it wasn't perfect. There had to be a balance between good things and bad things. Everything needed to have the proper amount of both. It did not. And so he set about exterminating the gods. First, he took the god of love and replaced it with the god of death, who was just as cruel and capricious as the original. Then he took the goddess of beauty and replaced her with the goddess of ugliness, which was just as ugly and horrible as the first. He castrated the god of war and named him Peace. He dismembered the goddess of wealth and named her Desperation. He burned the land with fire and blighted the seas with disease. All this was done by his own hand, and for his own amusement, and Uldru laughed and laughed until the tears flowed from his eyes and his belly ached. Then he went back to sleep. What happened next? The gods of the pantheon began to realize what had transpired. They gathered together and decided to confront the evil one. The god of love was called upon to destroy Uldru, but the god of death refused to help him. Instead, the god of death told the other gods that if they wanted to defeat Uldru, then they must find a way to bring about the destruction of the world. They agreed. And so they reached into the heavens and pulled out the sun, and it fell to earth and was destroyed by the god of war. This left only the moon, and the moon was too small, and the gods couldn't get enough force from it to do the job. They caged the moon and ridiculed it, and stabbed it thousands of times. Then they flew out to the stars to begin the search for a new home, but they were afraid that the universe had ended. The god of war cried and begged the others not to leave, but the others ignored his pleas. They found a planet in a distant system and settled there. They began to have children, and the children began murdering the gods. The god of love was the last to die. When he realized that his children were killing the other gods, he tried to stop them. But his children killed him, and his body exploded like a bomb, leaving nothing but pieces of bone. The gods fled to another star to escape the wrath of their children, but the child-gods followed. And the children hunted the gods across the universe, destroying them wherever they could find them. The children finally caught up with the gods in the outermost reaches of the galaxy and slaughtered them. Only the god of love's bones remained, floating in space, alone. And there are no more gods of any kind in the universe.

WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS GALAXY?? It is known as the Galaxy of Light. There are many worlds within it, and each has its own name. Each world's name is a horrifying obscenity, and to learn any one of these names would cause insanity and suicide. And there is a man here, a being who calls himself The Dreamer, who claims to have been born on this world. He says he can show you the true nature of reality, and the true names of the gods. The truth is far worse: he is a demon of the deepest darkness, whose power knows no bounds, and the knowledge of which could destroy all of creation. He is also a liar and a thief, and will steal your soul. THE DREAMER HAS SPOKEN TO ME. I AM NOT SURE WHAT HE WANTS FROM ME, BUT I KNOW THAT IF ANYONE CAN SHOW ME THE TRUTH, IT MUST BE HIM. AND SO I HAVE COME WITH YOU, MY FRIEND, FOR A TIME. AFTERWORD: I am a bit late to the party, but this book was originally intended as an expansion of my story, 'The Lost Gods of the Universe'. It started out as just that, and then grew to be something horrifying and cursed, which I regret. The main reason for the change was because the original was already written, so it was much easier to just start over with the same characters and setting. In the end, the result was a very different work from what I had planned.

Then Nick wrote three sentences of a fake article about google inventing a gun and it made this

 Then he fed it a porno review that was originally this

and it wrote this

He also uses a vibrator inside her cunt, which causes another orgasmic explosion. It ends with him fucking her mouth while he continues to torture her tits with electricity, making sure that there will be no recovery from this session! * * * I am not going to lie... I was pretty excited about this one. I have always wanted to try Device Bondage, so I jumped at the chance to review it. But as much fun as I thought it would be, it didn't quite live up to my expectations. So what went wrong? Let's start with the good stuff. When you think bondage porn, you probably don't picture a girl tied upside down on top of a metal frame. That alone makes this video worth watching. And let me tell you, Brooke did look amazing hanging upside down like that. Plus, I really liked how they used the whole frame to hold her legs together. This made it difficult for The Pope to do anything other than fuck her pussy or her ass. And if you know me personally, you'll already know that I love getting both of those holes pounded hard. There were times where Brooke looked so damn cute hanging there, just waiting for The Pope to come over and give her a proper pounding. Then again, sometimes she looked downright miserable. Sometimes she was crying because of pain, or fear, or even pleasure. All of these things added to the overall experience, but none of them seemed very realistic. Now, onto the bad part. First off, the sex itself wasn't too great. Sure, it was hot, but it lacked something special. Maybe it was because she was so tight that it felt like every thrust barely got into her. Or maybe it was the fact that the only positions they tried were missionary and cowgirl (which is fine). Either way, I found myself struggling to get fully aroused. Also, the sounds were pretty distracting. You could hear everything from moaning to screaming during the entire thing. Not exactly what I had pictured in my mind when reading the description. Lastly, the ending left me wanting more. Yes, I loved the last scene, with her being fucked in her mouth by The Pope while he tortured her tits with electricity, but it ended before my eyes exploded in ecstasy. Again, I mean, I'm a guy who loves seeing girls get fucked in the face. But I still want to see the actual climax. Not some fake orgasm from a vibrator inserted into her cunt. At least it was kind of sexy, though. So now we're back to the question: Was Device Bondage worth the money? Well, the answer is yes. It is definitely entertaining. If you are looking for some bondage porn to put on your device of choice, then this is the right one. However, I wouldn't recommend buying this unless you are okay with the price tag. If you are willing to pay $10, then go ahead and pick it up. If you are willing to spend more, then wait until the price drops. Overall, Device Bondage is a decent purchase, and I would definitely consider picking up the next installment. * * * If you enjoyed this review, then please take the time to check out our website. We have many more reviews, as well as articles on topics such as BDSM and Fetish. Please feel free to comment, and let us know what you think. It iz awl! This is the first episode of the new series 'The Adventures Of Bunnies & Burrows' which follows the adventures of two bunny rabbits, Bubbles and Bloo. They are joined on their journey by a little white mouse named Paws. Together they must overcome the trials of life, and learn to be brave and true friends. In this episode Bubbles is feeling lonely after spending all day with her family.

Anyway that's all, thanks for coming to neural network show and tell

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA (campaign concept / vaporware)

 Dark Lord Ganon was on the cusp of victory. The kingdom of Hyrule under his thrall, the royal family slain and scattered, and the seal to the Dark World finally broken -- the armies of Ganon had poured into Hyrule, and the Hylians were under his heel. But the boy knight Link and the surviving royal princess Zelda confronted Ganon at the entrance to the Dark World in the pinnacle of Hyrule Castle, and slew him. And in an instant, his grip on Hyrule was broken, and his armies scattered, leaderless. The people of Hyrule felt the breath of hope again.

But Link was mortally wounded, and breathed his last on the steps of Hyrule Castle. And in Ganon's death, the Triforce which he held within his breast, and which was the anchor that kept the Dark World apart from Hyrule, shattered, and the Dark World merged with Hyrule, filling the once light filled kingdom with poison swamps, cursed forests, burning mountains, and strange ruins that did not exist before. And Zelda remained trapped in the pinnacle of Hyrule Castle, held captive by the burning malice of dead Ganon's spirit.

The broken people of Hyrule try to rebuild their ruined lives, but the monsters of the Dark World bay at their doors, raiding their villages and killing them in the wilderness. The old adherents of Ganon work feverishly to find a way to resurrect him--a dark wizard has arisen, spurring Ganon's lieutenants to greater evil. What hope could remain in a ruined world such as this?

It is said that Link was buried by the last sages with the Triforce of Courage, contained within the Master Sword that was used to slay Ganon, but all who have tried to draw it from its stone have failed. And it is said that Princess Zelda holds the Triforce of Wisdom, though she is held captive beyond the reach of every hero who has tried to reach her. But the Triforce of Power, which was held within Ganon's breast, was quickly recovered by his evil servants, and hidden within the wretched dungeons which fell from the Dark World. If they could be retrieved, maybe the holders would have the power to separate once again the Dark World from the Light, and bring peace to Hyrule once again...

A SANDBOX CAMPAIGN POINTED TOWARDS DUNGEONS

So exactly how would this work? A Zelda campaign would need an open sandbox structure (like Breath of the Wild), but with a large number of menacing dungeons acting as center pieces and centers of gravity. Each dungeon would be fairly large, but by no means a megadungeon. The megadungeon would be the world itself, and the dungeons would be the sections of the megadungeon. So we need a way to lure the players to the eight dungeons--a gimmick, a story hook, and a meaningful reward.

Basically, at the center of the map is Hyrule Castle, with Ganon's Palace hovering inverted over it. Arrayed around it like spokes on a wheel are the eight dungeons. The exact location of some would be obvious, but some would be hidden, some more cleverly than others. The players would be given an accurate map of Hyrule to help navigate, but the merging of the Dark World would have deleted or replaced any number of landmarks. You might expect to come over a certain hill and see a grassy field and instead find a vast lake of blood, and where there should be a sacred temple, there would be a Palace of Darkness. Finding a village where it's supposed to be would be a relief.

Seems pretty obvious to me that the pieces of the Triforce have been hidden in these dungeons. It would make sense that Ganon's evil subjects would be pretty pleased to have the worlds merged, and would do everything they can to keep the Triforce broken. They already got their victory, except that their master is dead. As a bonus, each dungeon could contain a special power, item, or spell that fundamentally alters some basic problem that occurs in the overworld. The basics could go for some of these, like a pearl that lets you breathe underwater or a Firerod to burn flammable stuff, but I could go weird for others. Presumably, some of the dungeons would have problems that could be greatly ameliorated by these items, but since I want the game to be an open world, they wouldn't be necessary.

Link also has one third of the Triforce -- the Triforce of Courage -- but his tomb is a sacred place, either in the Temple of Time or the Lost Woods. There would need to be some test or problem to solve before you can go inside. Maybe you need a certain number of hitpoints before you can draw the Master Sword, which contains the Triforce of Courage. Or maybe you need to find and help the three Divine Beasts, or have the blessing of the last sage. Something like that.

Zelda has another third of the Triforce. You can go to Hyrule Castle to try to free her at any time, but at first this will be a challenge beyond your abilities. I imagine freeing Zelda would be a mid to late game activity, though very clever and courageous low level players might be able to make some progress before that. Freeing her would grant you a powerful ally. At this point presumably Zelda knows how to channel the power of the Triforce--this could be a versatile and powerful tool, but someone you need to protect as well. Wouldn't it be fucked up if you saved Zelda, only to have her killed by Ganon's minions?

Ganon's Palace would be the final tenth dungeon, hovering inverted over Hyrule Castle, the last remnant of the Dark World that has not fully merged with the Light. You probably need the Master Sword to proceed from Hyrule Castle into Ganon's Palace. But you know.. maybe not! Just doing an open world is fun. As for who the final boss is, well, that's a secret, but I'm sure you can imagine. Do you even need all the pieces of the Triforce to defeat it? I would say -- no, you don't. But without the Triforce, the Dark World can't be made separate again.

POWER PROGRESSION

Possibly, gaining hitpoints would be impossible from simply fighting monsters, finding treasure, and getting XP. Maybe you would need to find heart containers in the world, or defeat the dungeon boss. Would that be fun, or would that be annoying? It would be the classic Zelda incentive to search every nook and cranny -- maybe here I can find the Heart Piece I need to get another hit dice. How would this be tied to the normal level up system? Maybe you have to finish a dungeon to level up, but you can get small amounts of extra hitpoints in the overworld.

This would turn monster encounters into obstacles, rather than a situation with its own reward. Monsters would have to drop appropriate treasure to make the fight feel worth it. It's nice in D&D and other rpgs that just fighting monsters gets you XP -- it never feels like a total waste of time.

Another drawback is that in the overworld, you would need to manually hide heart containers around, rather than relying on the game's natural rhythm to change over time. That's one of the main benefits of experience points -- the game changes on its own, without you fiddling with it. If heart containers were hidden in the world, it would work to leave a dungeon, fuck around, and come back a little more powerful. Would heart containers actually level you up, or just give you more hit dice? I'm thinking they would actually level you up. In that case, we would probably need a 20 level system, whereas if you only leveled up from dungeons, a 10 level system would be fine. 

I've been enjoying White Hack. Maybe there could be a way to stretch that out into more levels and eliminate the experience system. 

And then, what if the players really prefer to just fuck around in the overworld? Isn't the whole point of an open world that you can do whatever you want and play the game? Shouldn't there be some power progression tied to that for its own sake?

RACES

Not the Breath of the Wild races!! I do not vibe with Rito, Goron, and Zora. Nothing against them in their specific context, they work well in that game. But I am not drawn to imagining my players as them.

Rather, I think it would be primarily Hylians. Maybe you could be part fairy or part monster. Part fairies are the Hylians we typically imagine with pointed ears, psychic powers, magic, glimmering light, and so on. Part monsters might have fangs, horns, vivid skin color, weird eyes, etc. There should be a big hulking character option. Maybe some moblins are trying to integrate into society. Would it be cool to play a Moblin? Maybe there should be a Goron. I don't think Kokiri should be an option, neither LOTR elves and dwarves. This is a different world from LOTR, therefore different characters to imagine being, and different archetypes to fill.

On the other hand, I know some players really get a kick out of playing distinctly non-human races. So... I don't know.

I like having different anime people of different sizes. Little fairy guys, tough dwarf guys, regular people, big hulking brutes. I'm reminded of BREAK! What ever happened to that?

CLASSES

Swordsman, archer, psychic, mage, forest dweller, ranger, beast-tamer, princess, assassin, knight, marksman, bounty hunter, trapper, bug hunter, mercenary, and so on. It's easy to imagine the world of Berserk kind of merged with this one--a savage, cruel, dark world of romantic personalities, subject to violence that should not exist in their world. Anything that fit in Berserk would fit here, easily. Clerics would channel holy power, remnants of the sacred realm that was once the Dark World. 

MONSTERS

I like the weird diversity of Link to the Past and Ocarina of Time over the austere orderliness of Breath of the Wild. So there would be the hits, but also an infinite variety of new monsters, based on whatever the DM comes up with. Bokoblins, moblins, zora, octarock, lynel, poe, stalfos, rock golems, hinox etc, but also weird little scurrying creatures and werewolves and goblins and vampires and sand worms. At the end of the day it's dungeons and dragons, and D&D works best when it's a new monster every session. 

WHAT ARE THE DUNGEONS?

This is a secret! But more based on Link to the Past than Ocarina of Time or Breath of the Wild. Rather than Temples or Divine Beasts, they would be ruins, weird horrible ruins brought from a cursed world, or once nice places inhabited by twisted demons from a mirror dimension. I like the Palaces of Link to the Past: these were maybe literal palaces of a civilization long past, but now they are used for another purpose.

Rather than being puzzle focused like Zelda, they would be filled with OSR style problems. But I always like in Ocarina how there's a central figure or gimmick that changes as the dungeon progresses. So that's something to keep in mind.

Some of them would be elementally themed. I love the Ice Palace. And I like the idea that the Dark World brought new horrible problems to Hyrule -- melting glaciers, volcanos where there shouldn't be, evil woods, etc. It would make sense that the dungeons could be at the center of some of these problems. But not all of them. There has to be variance.

Beating a dungeon causes the others to scale up in power. Maybe they absorb more power from the Triforce, or redouble their defenses, or their wizard general summons new kinds of creatures. 

As for size, I'm split on this. They would be smaller than the average level of my megadungeon for the most part -- I would want each session spent in a dungeon to feel like you're making progress. At the same time, I would want this campaign to create the Zelda game I wish existed, and most Zelda games seem to have dungeons that are just a touch too small because of the constraints of video games. Some of them, especially dungeons a little further from the start, could be pretty massive -- 50+ rooms maybe. And the final dungeon would be that big as well or a little bigger, so there's plenty of room for players to explore for the duration of the campaign. But the early dungeons might be a little small, maybe 20-30 rooms, so players wouldn't feel too discouraged, and could test their strength at low levels, and if they skip them and come back, could work through them quickly.

WHAT IS IN THE OVERWORLD?

I don't know exactly how to make this fun! Definitely there would be little towns, more along the lines of Breath of the Wild's Hateno Village than the faction cities, and more like Ocarina's Kakariko -- secrets to discover, NPCs that change depending on time of day, hidden treasure, weird little stores. Everything would be larger in scope than a video game can account for: traveling for in-game days rather than the hand-waved minutes. Fast travel might be a good idea after a certain point, to incentivize exploration into unknown areas: maybe finishing a dungeon lets you teleport to its entrance.

I don't care about "shrines," but mini-dungeons are always nice to stumble upon. 1-5 room scenarios with a little reward at the end. This could be a place to hide "heart containers" if I go that route.

Wandering NPCs to befriend, rescue, and fight! Not everyone in this version of Hyrule is nice. Maybe the old armies of Hyrule are trying to regain power, and thieves are trying to steal the Triforce for themselves, while bandits take advantage of the chaos to raid highways and villages.

I'm tempted to re-introduce the Divine Beasts, but as literal Divine Beasts: sacred creatures, manifestations of Hyrule itself, ancient, imbued with sacred power and energy. Like the Great Forest Spirit of Princess Mononoke. If you find and help them, they could grant a powerful magic spell, or some boon that really alters the course of the game.

Breath of the Wild bokoblin camps are not in the mix, for me, nor Stone Taluses, nor korok seeds, or any of that stuff. Ganon's forces would need to be reimagined entirely: there might be war-camps of beastmen and moblins, but this would be more literalized. What would it actually be like if there were a war camp of bokoblins? What would it actually be like if a hinox were guarding a mountain pass you needed to get through? Could you talk to it? Could you trick it? What would it want? 

Horses! Always need horses. Could there be other mounts? Lizards? Chocobo?

Fairy fountains! Pretty crucial. A place to recover hitpoints and be granted blessings by the ancient fairies of Hyrule. 

True to Hyrule there would be a variety of environments: icy glaciers, lightning struck mountains, deserts, dark forests, nice forests, great lakes and rivers, rolling plains, but also weird stuff dropped in from the Dark World: shining obelisks, disgusting idols, rivers of gore, forests of thorns, pyramids, swamps, and so on. But there wouldn't be a switching back and forth between worlds: it's all one place now. 

I"M RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS

Next step I'd need to make a map, a bunch of dungeon ideas, and starting getting specific. Sounds like fun!

SHATTERED LABYRINTHS MEGAPOST

 I'll put the links to each blogpost here as I make them.

Summary, Overview, and Backstory

Megadungeon Map and Connections

The Hook: Princess Derrida and her Caravan

Some Final Notes on Running the Adventure

The Surface: The Canyons of Pain and Misfortune

The Many-Patterned Halls (Sub-Level Six)

Some Final Notes on Running This Adventure

WHAT IS THE PREVAILING MOOD OF THIS ADVENTURE?

I'd say the main thing is the players are exploring a site of overwhelming horror and tragedy that had the worst possible consequences for innumerable people, but they are doing it with the hope that something good might come out of it. So there will be a natural tension that occurs: could ANYTHING good ever possibly come out of this? And the adventure is what answers that question.

HOW SHOULD THE NPCS ACT?

Most of the characters the players will meet in the dungeon will be extremely self-serving and fundamentally incurious. They've been locked in a severely bounded world for a long time, and most of them have ceased to have the ability to form curiosity about other people. Open, kind (or malicious) curiosity should be a rare phenomenon.

Similarly, most of the characters the players meet will not be reasonable. They might over-react or under-react, or be hyper-focused on one thing, or not be able to care about context, and so on. This is how they become a real obstacle to the players: not just as hostile entities (though those exist too), but as incurious, unreasonable people who are basically in the way at exactly the wrong time. Dealing with that challenge should be a big part of the game.

ON CHALLENGE

I found myself tempted to make each level harder than the one before, but I discovered that the great length of the adventure made that unworkable. Instead, your goal should be to help each game session fit into what I think of as the "Zone of Appropriate Challenge." Each gaming group has their own sweet spot of appropriate challenge, and this adventure and each session should be tailored to fit that. If they have particular trouble with traps to the point where they're afraid to walk into rooms, maybe consider making traps more obvious and less lethal. If they're very confident and tactically oriented and can tackle the bosses and combat encounters without thinking, maybe consider making the monsters smarter and more numerous. Check in frequently with your players on how the challenge is feeling, and whether they want it harder or easier, or like the way you're doing it. If they're going through a stressful period in their lives, consider that stressful encounters in the game might feel even more challenging, and maybe dial it down. This way the adventure can continue to feel personal and manageable, even though it's very long.

I found that the game worked best when the basic encounters were very easy, since the density and complexity of the dungeon meant that even on a good day we'd get through maybe 4-5 rooms, 8 max. On the other hand, don't be afraid to let the hardest encounters just be hard. Some things are just meant to be obstacles, and not all monsters or characters are very tractable: that is why they are monsters. If you deploy a trap or boss or monster that's going to be very difficult or scary, consider telling them that you know their characters might not like the situation. This way they can be reassured that you are at least keeping their feelings in mind.

WHAT KINDS OF POWERS WILL PROBABLY NOT WORK WELL WITH THIS ADVENTURE?

Anything that scans or automatically detects traps, treasure, or secret doors. I want my players to interact with the dungeon directly, and if they have a power that does that for them (unless it is in a very limited capacity), it will short-cut a lot of the obstacles. 

Anything that can automatically unlock or open magically locked doors, as parts of the dungeon are gated off with magic keys or boundaries that must be found or negotiated open. 

Anything that can unerringly dispel magical effects: there are a lot of magic traps, sigils, curses, spells, and so on. If your characters have a Dispel Magic effect that can just destroy these effects from a distance or lift them automatically, they'll probably have too easy of a time. Obviously Anti-Magic will be good for this reason, and your basic Dispel Magic spell should have some utility, but I mean a lot of the magic in this dungeon to be kind of sticky and durable: maybe a demon did it, or a very powerful wizard, or a spirit, or maybe it's tenth level magic, and so on, which means the players will have to think laterally instead of just making it go away.

Anything that lets them frequently travel unerringly through walls and doors. The architecture is meant to be a severe challenge, and the solid walls should not be easily passed through. The physicality of the dungeon should feel like a weight--making the walls, floors, and ceiling permeable will ruin that feeling, and trivialize a lot of challenges. Passwall and Dimension Door type spells are probably fine, but if your players can quickly clip through the walls and floors to check what's on the other side, they're gonna be missing a big part of what this adventure is about. I disallowed the spell Etherealness for this reason.

You might want to consider how scrying and oracular spells will function in your game. I used scrying as a way to give my players a chance to look at one-off scenes of off-screen characters which gave hints and useful information, but not the whole secret away. I always assume that my players will use oracular spells like Augury and Legend Lore to discover secrets and back-story, but they never really do. I don't think these spells would ruin anything--just use them to give your players information they might have trouble finding otherwise, but always keep in mind what information is meant to be a strict secret. If a spell might uncover a strict secret, consider coming up with an excuse to maintain the mystery, or give a hint that points to the secret but does not reveal it.

I wrote this adventure with the assumption that my players can easily fly, turn invisible, cure wounds, teleport short distances, breathe underwater if necessary, make difficult climbs without too much trouble, and so on. Third level magic according to Dungeons and Dragons logic. They were also quickly able to form walls, Force Cage opponents, and teleport back to camp if necessary, meaning that otherwise lethal or very threatening encounters could be avoided or mitigated, so many encounters are written with that in mind. Areas which cannot be teleported out of should be communicated clearly to the players, unless they like that kind of surprise. 

ON RANDOM ENCOUNTERS

I went back and forth on random encounters a lot in running this adventure, but here's what I landed on:

Each level and sub-level has its own encounter list. Every ten minutes or so, roll on the encounter list. Every time they take a rest, roll on the encounter list. If they clear a level of most of its threats, to the point where they know confidently what's in most of the rooms and have killed or negated everything else, just stop rolling on the list. They've earned it.

In some levels, such as the Turned Castle and the Temple of Demogorgon, instead of rolling every set amount of time, I rolled every time they entered a room. This is meant to simulate a dense, living environment.

ON NAVIGATING THE DUNGEON

Since this place is really big and holds many secrets, I recommend forcing your players to tell you exactly what path they take through the dungeon every time they enter and exit. I found that they often thought that they understood the dungeon, but would get lost or confused when it came down to the details, and encounters would naturally occur as they fumbled around. They would also remember or find details they had overlooked on the first, second, or third walk through, and this way solve puzzles or find treasure they had missed for a long time.

On the other hand, if they've walked through a million times without much trouble, just let them zoom straight to the point they need to get to. Just try to remember what might have changed since the last time they passed through and let them know if anything's different.

I THINK THAT'S IT!

BEST OF LUCK ON THE CHALLENGES TO COME!

The Hook: Princess Derrida Von Chasm and Her Retinue

 Princess Derrida Von Chasm is one of the seven princesses of the Moriad, a once-thriving kingdom far to the southwest of Orostranthy that, like everything else, has slid into a long decline. It was once a nation held together by the power of the Bright Grail, a holy chalice recovered by their questing knights centuries ago and brought back to the Moriad to be ensconced in a temple at the city's center. I don't know the Moriad well, but I imagine in its best years it was beautiful, courtly, full of high magic and art. But at some point the Grail's power departed: either it became displeased, or it died of old age, or it went elsewhere. Regardless, its light went out, and the kingdom fell under a curse of rain, and the King and Queen separated. The Moriad is now a sinking city, its lower levels lost in a flood, and all who live there know their time is not long.

Princess Derrida is a priestess of Skorne the Androgyne, God/dess of Sex, Secrets, and Vengeance. Skorne gave Derrida a vision of the Skoros Orb, and Derrida has become obsessed with recovering it. After years of research and study, she has decided that the Skoros Orb is the new artifact the Moriad needs to recover. By replacing the Bright Grail, the curse of rain will be lifted, and her parents will get back together again, and her kingdom will heal. She will stop at nothing to find it.

Incidentally, her six sisters have departed the Moriad as well, and are missing. All together, they are the Seven Lost Princesses of the Moriad. Though their whereabouts are not detailed in this adventure. Princess Derrida would be glad to know of their well-being.

I introduced this adventure by having Princess Derrida approach the PCs and offer to hire them for their services. She has heard of their great skill, and hopes they will be able to assist her in recovering the Skoros Orb. She has already hired a number of specialists to travel with her to the Canyons of Pain and Misfortune, but what she really needs are professional adventurers of the players' caliber. She can explain the basic backstory and explain that the Skoros Orb is a lost artifact of great power. The Shattered Labyrinths of Illith Varn are sure to be full of treasure, she explains, and the players are welcome to keep and sell anything they find inside as they search. She only wants the orb. Furthermore, if they do successfully recover the orb, as she is certain they will as she has heavily researched their credentials and already spoken with certain characters familiar with the PCs, she will provide the players appropriate recompense at that time. She will stay vague on this matter, but hint that she has the power to give them great wealth, as she is a literal princess.

If you want to give her a monologue, you can riff off this.

Princess Derrida is solemn and sincere. She really means what she says. She is good-hearted but severe, and by alignment standards might hover somewhere between Lawful Good and Lawful Neutral. Her quest should seem maybe a little naively innocent, but she insists on the great power of the Skoros Orb and its ability to heal her kingdom, and is extremely intelligent and capable. Your players might get the sense that it would be very dangerous in the long run to end up on her bad side.

In appearance, she is a beautiful young woman with a shaved head, painted eyebrows and purple lips, in gold and white robes. She is accompanied at all times by two mute attendants, also women with shaved heads, whose tongues have been cut out, as they have sworn to serve Skorne the Androgyne all their life. She is skilled at fighting with the scimitar, and though she can perform great miracles through the power of Skorne, does not have the equivalent powers of a standard cleric.

PRINCESS DERRIDA VON CHASM

HP 40, AC 12 

2 attacks with a scimitar +8 for 1d8+1 damage, or channel shining Rays of Gold from her outstretched hand for 2d8 damage to demons and undead

Miracles: Heal (when cast, this puts her out for a week), Raise Dead (ritual takes a day of preparation), Excise Poison (Poison comes dribbling out of a person’s skin but inflicts 10d6 damage), Metal Body (skin turns to gold, AC +8 and reflect magic)

When she performs a miracle, she can transform into a beautiful young man or back into her female form, if she so desires.

What She Wants: To Find the Skoros Orb

What She Does Not Want: To Return to the Moriad, To See Her Parents

Her two mute attendants carry a Shrine to Skorne, which rests upon two swords which the attendants bear between them. Skorne is a beautiful androgynous deity with breasts and a phallus, Baphomet style. From one angle Skorne's face is lovely, from another it's fierce. Derrida prays before this shrine every morning and night.

She has hired a large retinue to accompany her. If the players decline or wish to travel separately, she will meet them again at the Canyons of Pain and Misfortune, where they will set up camp next to the ruined cannon.

Here are the people accompanying her:

Twelve Louts, young to middle aged men of low class and varying temperate and ability. They all excel at a different skill and musical instrument, which they carry with them at all times, but none of them are good at singing.  Otherwise, the louts all have the following stats:

THE LOUTS

HP 12, AC 12 

STR +2, CON +1, DEX +2, INT +0, WIS -1, CHA -2

Attack +4 for 1d6 damage (Melee and ranged, regardless of what weapon they use)

Uncanny Dodge: If they successfully save against a damaging effect, they take no damage

Heal to full every time they rest the night

Heal d12 hitpoints during a short rest

+15 to dice rolls when using the appropriate skill

Their names and capabilities:

• Malcheo, plays the GUITAR, skilled at COOKING
• Betty, plays the MANDOLIN, skilled at ASTROLOGY
• Dead Stansl, plays the TRUMPET, skilled at FIGHTING
• Krute, plays the BONGOS, skilled at ROPE TYING
• Lorry, plays the HARMONICA, skilled at SNEAKING
• Stoven. plays the PIPES, skilled at REPAIRING
• Yote. plays the TAMBOURINE, skilled at VENTRILOQUISM
• Ed, plays the BASS, skilled at CONTORTIONS
• Vulpo, plays the SPINNING WHISTLES ON A STRING, skilled at JUMPING
• Oira, plays the ACCORDION, skilled at LYING
• Ol' Ree, plays the SAXOPHONE, skilled at STRENGTH
• Toaden, skilled at CLARINET, skilled at SPORTS

The Louts do most of the dirty work: carrying, transporting, driving horses, digging pits, setting up camp, and so on. They are good natured and don't aspire to much more than their current status. They feel privileged to have been hired by a princess, and they love and guard her fiercely. They have friendships and rivalries among themselves, they play games, they enjoy the adventure for the most part, though they prefer resting and eating to fighting and work. If mistreated, they'll become grumpy and lazy, and the work of the caravan will slow down significantly. In short, they're pretty normal guys who are super excited to be on an adventure.

Next up, we have CLAPTROUS ORNG, a priest of VERNGI, THE HUNGRY MAN. 

Claptrous is a trap for the players. By all appearances he is an extremely friendly, boisterous, and helpful cleric, but in actuality, he is a complete psychopath who is obsessed with resurrecting the Grinning Pharaoh. He trained in a monastery in the Psychodesert across the ocean, and is traveling to the Black Pyramid with the express purpose of bringing the Grinning Pharaoh back to life. He does not know that the Grinning Pharaoh yet lives, sealed inside his pyramid.

 

He is a cunning liar, and will succeed on all lie checks, and will only lie if absolutely necessary. He says that he is a researcher and archaeologist, hoping to discover the secrets of his ancestors and the treasure of the Grinning Pharaoh. He will refuse to submit to a Detect Thoughts, and Princess Derrida will insist that she has thoroughly checked his background and credentials, all of which he faked. If he is forced to submit to a Detect Thoughts, his monastic training has helped him manufacture convincing but tinny surface thoughts. He will not talk much about his background or motivations, deflecting such questions as diplomatically as possible, and if pressed, will talk about his monastic training and answer some questions about his strange god, but will clearly be uncomfortable with it. He will otherwise at all times be helpful and generous with the players, as they are his ticket to the door of the Black Pyramid. Basically, as a DM, you should really try to make this guy a convincing ally, but if your players really really get on his case, go ahead and give it up. 

Ideally, he should survive until the players break into the Black Pyramid. When the players get to level 2, he should begin asking with increasing anxiety if they've found it yet. If they do find its front door, he will insist on accompanying them on the initial incursion inside. If they ignore his requests, he will go in on his own. Ideally, he's one of the first people roasted by the Golden Dragon. 

As soon as his secret is revealed, his personality should shift to a grating, zealous fanatic, and his boisterous friendliness should be obviously in retrospect just a shallow front. How on earth did we ever like this guy...?

In appearance, he's a big middle-aged guy in leathers, attended by a Slime named Corporate. Verngi is "The Hungry Man," "He Who Devours The Bones," God of Vultures, who deals chiefly with eating and the proper disposal of the dead (eating them). Every night at sunset Claptrous does a bizarre ritual where he eats and vomits up some food for his slime to eat. He knows this makes people uncomfortable, so he tries to do it out of sight.

CLAPTROUS ORNG, CLERIC OF VERNGI

HP 60 AC 14

 Whip +8 Reach 10’ 1d8. Crossbow +6 1d8. 

He can cast any cleric spell level 1-3 up to 4 times a day, and can cast level 4 and 5 cleric spells by taking 10 or 20 hitpoints of damage respectively. 

Also knows the following spells, each castable 1/week: 

WITHER: targets 1d6 foes within 30’, causing 2 levels of exhaustion and making it as if they had not eaten for a week, also causes them to lose a quarter of their bodyweight. 

DEVOUR: swallow a L or smaller target whole, provided they have 50 hitpoints or less. Attack roll, then swallows target, they take 6d6 damage immediately, then take 1d20 dmg per round. 

GREAT FEAST: Summons an elaborate feast capable of feeding 20 people, cures a level of exhaustion, provides a full rest, 2d10 temporary hitpoints, allows them to roll advantage on a saving throw made within the next 24 hours. This feast takes an hour to eat.

His Slime, “Corporate” 

HP 20 AC 16 

   Heals 10 HP per hour, if reaches 0 HP, rests as if dead for an hour then splits into 2 slimes with 20 HP, this continues infinitely. Can be slain by water (deals 1d6 damage per round) or electricity. 

It otherwise acts as a familiar with Blindsight, Stealth and Climb +15, and can squeeze through any small crack.

VLAWYN THE KET, and his young son BASHRO

Vlawyn is acting as Derrida's chief bodyguard and defense coordinator. He is a knight from the Merelunds, a foggy, magical kingdom with seven cursed lakes. He is fleeing Lord Hag, his old master. After he discovered evidence of corruption in the courts, Vlawyn's wife was slain in retribution, Vlawyn killed Lord Hag's high guard, and then fled the kingdom with his son. He will not talk freely at all about his background: he is a gruff, hard-hearted man covered in scars, clearly an accomplished warrior, and wearing fine armor forged of hardened bird feathers. He loves his son above all else. He's taking this job for the pay, and to get as far away from the Merelunds as possible.

Bashro is a four-year-old boy. He's basically like any boy his age, except he's already pretty good with a sword. He doesn't like the hard life he's been forced on, but doesn't yet question it. He misses his mother, but already barely remembers her. He wishes he could play more and didn't have to train so much. He's just a kid, but Vlawyn really loves him and is afraid of losing him, and he takes that out on him by forcing him to practice. If Bashro ever gets kidnapped or hurt, Vlawyn will get really, really scary.

                                               VLAWYN THE KET

HP 100 AC 22 

Sword +8 1d10+4 Greatbow +7 1d10+2 

Strength checks +10 

Can perform basically any fancy fighting ability by making a Strength check versus target’s attack roll.

 3 attacks per round. 

BASHRO

5 HP, AC 9, 

1 attack +4, 

can perform Dexterity checks at +8 

Can perform basically any distracting or quick-footed fighting ability by making a Dexterity check versus target’s armor class.

Illya Gruul, a Potionist. A blue-haired woman from Solemn Cry, Orostranthy's decaying capitol city. She carries a faded leather suitcase filled with potion and alchemical materials. Illya was hired to give the caravan an edge against whatever they might find, and she seeks a particular magic mushroom that grows only from the skulls of wizards, which will really just level up her research. She's a really nice person with no evil secrets or tragic backstory.

This mushroom can be found on Level Three, growing out of Illith Varn's severed head.

Illya Gruul

HP 30 AC 11 

Knife +6 1d4 Crossbow +6 1d8.

Given a day, she can prepare any potion that replicates a wizard spell of levels 1 to 3. This has to make sense in the context of a drinkable potion: no potions of Magic Missile, for instance. It costs 200 gp per level of the spell, and she provides NO DISCOUNTS.

She can also brew a random potion for 300gp if they prefer something weird.

In combat, she can grope in her bag and come up with a random potion 3 times a day.

She has also prepared four unique potions which cannot be replaced: TORNADO (creates a tornado for 1d10 rounds when uncorked), ANTILOVE (if a person is in love or simply loves another human, this potion kills it), GIANT STRENGTH (for 1d10 rounds, all strength rolls are a natural 30), and LASER EYES (gets a laser attack every round for 5d6 damage, lasts 1d10 rounds). She will mention these only on really special occasions, and will only part with them for a ridiculous sum of money. Start at 3000 gold.

Finally, we have RATTO THE RAT, a gross guy from Belmric who was brought in for his thief-like capabilities. He has poor hygiene, is really greedy, and terrible in a fight. After the players have been in the dungeon for a while (maybe after they get to Level Three), he can set up a supply chain to bring in standard provisions given a day's notice, and sell treasure for them through his chain of contacts. My players didn't find much use for this guy, but I'll include him anyway.

RATTO THE RAT

HP 25 AC 18 (Dexterity), 

all Dexterity based checks +10, 

Advantage to Lock-pick, Trap-disarming, Sneaking, Climbing, and Listening. 

He has a sword and a shortbow +6 1d6 damage, but always attacks with disadvantage. 

Given an hour he can rig a simple but deadly trap that deals 8d6 damage when triggered.

That's it! Feel free to let your players use these characters as they see fit. A lot of the powers the NPCs bring to bear are flexible, and can be used to fill any gaps the players might have in their arsenal as they face the varied obstacles of the dungeon. The NPCs will happily accompany the PCs into the dungeon, though their stats should make them pretty vulnerable to most traps and monsters. In my game, the surface NPCs have ended up as a nice break from the dungeon, a source of friendly drama, romance, and friendship. My players hired a few more NPCs to pad out the retinue, and recruited a bunch of people from inside the dungeon to join their camp. At the end, their camp was more like a thriving little town, than the hard-scrabble rain-covered survival camp it started as. 

THE SURFACE (THE CANYONS OF PAIN AND MISFORTUNE / MISERY AND DESPAIR)

 Far from civilization, deep within a snowy MOUNTAINS OF THE WITCHLING SHRIKE. The mountains are jagged white, like teeth, and sparse conifer trees grow on the hillsides and in the valleys, and the Witchling Shrike is a bird god who is said to rule these mountains, but who is not relevant to the dungeon, and as such will not be detailed here. The higher snow-capped mountains to the east rise loom over the foothills. The mountains ALEIF, ALGRIMUR, and ASTRIKUR are the closest visible mountains. They are said to be cursed and cruel, spiteful to humans, and warring among each other over the long years.

Movement is at 1/3 speed in the mountains due to the steepness of the terrain and frequency of dangerous drops and cliffs. The path is clear but often narrow and not well maintained. Altitude climbs to about 5000 feet in the western regions of these mountains, but deeper in the mountains rise to over 10,000. 

The area the canyons of Pain and Misfortune are located in are in the western foot-hills of these mountains: it was simple for the armies of Illith Varn to burrow into the canyons. They fled through these mountains as the army of Orostranthy pursued them. Lingering magic and war machines can still be found in the pass.

Far to the east, and not visible unless from a very high altitude or a mountaintop, is a great iron throne sitting upon a distant mountaintop. The is the throne of the Titan IAT, who was slain by the Purple Dragon Terrifex. No one knows this--they might know that it was the throne of a mighty titan, but he was slain.

The canyons wind through the mountains for miles, at the northwestern-most termination is where our adventure focuses.

A steep 300 foot drop. Howling winds. Protruding spikes. Are those people, frozen in the stone? Where is the path down?

The canyon is filled with vividly colored, opaque, swirling fog, which obscures the canyon floor, but leaves the mesas visible. The mesas are between a hundred and two-hundred feet high and thickly forested with conifer trees. On one mesa can be seen a massive iron cannon pointed toward the center of the canyon.

This is the site of the final battle between Orostranthy and the armies of Illith Varn, about a hundred years ago. Most of the fighting took place up here, and a shit ton of people died. Their corpses cover the canyon floor.

THE SEVEN FOGS OF THE SKOROS ORB

They rise at dawn, as if pouring up from the ground. They radiate a magic of unknown origin, and can be affected by psychic magic and enchantments, as if they have a mind. One of the legends of the Skoros Orb were that it could pour forth fog -- this is that fog.

Choose or roll randomly to determine a fog color every day.

1 Silver mist

2 Deep white fog

3 Low red fog

4 Thick purple fog

5 Heavy grey, smoke-like fog

6 A thin mist 

7 Roiling black fog

WHAT IS THE WEATHER TODAY

1 Spitting rain

2 Drippy

3 Overcast and cold

4 Overcast but tolerable

5 Thin, cold rain

6 It's fucking freezing and windy and it's raining

7 Clear and cold

8 Thin, malicious clouds blowing over

9 Wet snow and rain

10 Heavy snow for a day, and then a clear, cold day

REGARDING THE FLYING FORTRESS

On any clear day, one of which should be forced to occur either the day the players arrive or very soon after, they can see up to the Flying Fortress of the Sky Witch. It's about two miles up directly over the center of the canyon. From the ground it just looks like a mote shining in the sun, but if examined with a telescope it is clearly a castle of grey-green-blue metal, shining with a complex iridescence of purples and greys. Six spires can be seen, they glitter.

If the players fly up there to check it out, continue to the section on the Flying Fortress, to be detailed later. For the time being, it is locked tight--a smooth metal exterior with no windows, and a set of stairs leading up to a small gate, which is magically locked. There is a keyhole. General Malagon on Level Two now possesses the key which can open it, and it cannot be opened otherwise, unless you're feeling really generous with sequence breaks and just want to let your players explore. 

THERE ARE NO ENCOUNTERS ON THE SURFACE

It is safe to explore freely, and very quiet, except for a clinking-clanking coming from the center of the canyon, which is Buk-buk rummaging through the wreckage. I recommend keeping the surface completely free of danger or encounters, and never have the threats within the labyrinths come to the surface to attack them there. The labyrinths can be very intense, and it's nice to have a place that is clearly Not The Dungeon. The canyons are a kind of liminal space between the rest of the world and the Dungeon. As soon as they enter the dungeon they are in danger, but if they leave, they are not (except maybe in some edge-cases, and don't let them exploit this concept).

There are some monsters below that might make sense to attack their camp when they are able: the Golden Dragon, the Deadboyz, and the Sky Witch particularly. I did not do this, since I felt it would really shift focus from the dungeon to a kind of surface-defense mission, and would make exploring the dungeon just too stressful. If you really want to punch up the threats from these enemies in a way that would make sense with the fiction, go for it.

KEYED AREAS

A. Narrow, winding stairs switch back and descend to the canyon floor. 

B. The canyon floor is littered with boulders. Ancient and decayed weaponry. Rubble and skeletons. Thorny trees spring from the rubble. There is a malignant hesitancy here, a sense of another presence somewhere out of sight.

C. This mesa has a giant metal cannon on top of it, pointed at the center of the canyon. About six unadorned and empty concrete buildings surround a clear space. They have no doors, and have simple, glass-less windows. They're really just shelters, and maybe one or two of them are kind of ruined. The canyons and bunkers were brought by Orostranthy.

One of the bunkers has stairs leading down, winding down through the mesa, and exiting through a secret door at the base of the mesa. The secret door is difficult to find from the exterior. How convenient!

D. The canyons continue to the south-east and wind through the mountains for miles and miles.

E. The entrance to the Shattered Labyrinths. A steep pit or quarry gouged into the canyon floor, about 100' deep. This pit was quarried out by the kingdom of Uldru, so quarry marks might be apparent.

See next map for details about this area.

A. Steep stairs descend straight down to the floor of the pit.

B. Covered in wreckage, corpses, skeletons, bones, and broken weapons, is a flat stone circle inscribed with sigils. This is a Teleport Circle used by Illith Varn. If a magic-user knows a teleport spell, they can use this circle to transport themselves here unerringly. 

C. The site of the final battle. The whole area is strewn with skeletons, broken weaponry, and scorch-marks. You can't walk without crunching on skulls and bones. Nothing valuable can be found here.

D. MAIN ENTRANCE. Great bronze doors thirty feet high. They are dented inwards, and open a crack, wide enough for a person to fit through. These lead to an empty thirty-by-thirty room, lined with statues of headless men holding their own heads. At the far end is a set of narrow stairs which leads to Level 1, Room 1.

Poking through the wreckage at the base of the doors is a man, Buk-buk. He is a scavenger searching for scraps and relics to sell. He makes a trip back to civilization every three or four months to sell what he finds. He is from a village of no importance deeper in the mountains. 

He knows the basic legends of this place and can tell the most obvious possible information about the surroundings, placing particular emphasis on how everyone who comes here dies, but due to his crafty and unimportant nature, he will not die. 

"Illith Varn fought Orostranthy here!! He died!!"

He's familiar with the canyons but has not found the secret door in the cannon mesa.

 He will absolutely refuse to enter the labyrinths, insisting that it's not safe. "If you go in there, you'll die!" He has no knowledge of what lies inside.

He was here when the Sky Witch arrived about a month ago.

"“Yes!! A woman flew down from the castle!! I hid and watched her. She went through those doors there!! That was weeks ago. She must have died!!”"

E. SIDE ENTRANCE. From a man-sized crevice in the wall issues a discharge of milky slime, which trickles to the floor and forms a bubbling pool. If the slime is touched, it deals 2d10 damage as it eats away your flesh, and if you fall in, that's 4d10 damage every round. It dissolves everything but stone, metal, and glass, though metal and stone will be slowly dissolved over time: first metal, then stone. Its nature should not be easily determined.

The pool is evaporating. Inside the crevice is a narrow shaft, which leads downwards to Level 1, Room 48. The slime is trickling UPWARDS from below before discharging from the crevise. 

F. A secret door, which from the outside looks like natural canyon wall. It leads to narrow, winding stairs and connects to Level 1, Room 30. This should really not be able to be found or opened from the outside. If the players manage to find it somehow, it is magically locked from the other side. From the inside it is a stone door that can be easily opened.