The Hook: Princess Derrida Von Chasm and Her Retinue

 Princess Derrida Von Chasm is one of the seven princesses of the Moriad, a once-thriving kingdom far to the southwest of Orostranthy that, like everything else, has slid into a long decline. It was once a nation held together by the power of the Bright Grail, a holy chalice recovered by their questing knights centuries ago and brought back to the Moriad to be ensconced in a temple at the city's center. I don't know the Moriad well, but I imagine in its best years it was beautiful, courtly, full of high magic and art. But at some point the Grail's power departed: either it became displeased, or it died of old age, or it went elsewhere. Regardless, its light went out, and the kingdom fell under a curse of rain, and the King and Queen separated. The Moriad is now a sinking city, its lower levels lost in a flood, and all who live there know their time is not long.

Princess Derrida is a priestess of Skorne the Androgyne, God/dess of Sex, Secrets, and Vengeance. Skorne gave Derrida a vision of the Skoros Orb, and Derrida has become obsessed with recovering it. After years of research and study, she has decided that the Skoros Orb is the new artifact the Moriad needs to recover. By replacing the Bright Grail, the curse of rain will be lifted, and her parents will get back together again, and her kingdom will heal. She will stop at nothing to find it.

Incidentally, her six sisters have departed the Moriad as well, and are missing. All together, they are the Seven Lost Princesses of the Moriad. Though their whereabouts are not detailed in this adventure. Princess Derrida would be glad to know of their well-being.

I introduced this adventure by having Princess Derrida approach the PCs and offer to hire them for their services. She has heard of their great skill, and hopes they will be able to assist her in recovering the Skoros Orb. She has already hired a number of specialists to travel with her to the Canyons of Pain and Misfortune, but what she really needs are professional adventurers of the players' caliber. She can explain the basic backstory and explain that the Skoros Orb is a lost artifact of great power. The Shattered Labyrinths of Illith Varn are sure to be full of treasure, she explains, and the players are welcome to keep and sell anything they find inside as they search. She only wants the orb. Furthermore, if they do successfully recover the orb, as she is certain they will as she has heavily researched their credentials and already spoken with certain characters familiar with the PCs, she will provide the players appropriate recompense at that time. She will stay vague on this matter, but hint that she has the power to give them great wealth, as she is a literal princess.

If you want to give her a monologue, you can riff off this.

Princess Derrida is solemn and sincere. She really means what she says. She is good-hearted but severe, and by alignment standards might hover somewhere between Lawful Good and Lawful Neutral. Her quest should seem maybe a little naively innocent, but she insists on the great power of the Skoros Orb and its ability to heal her kingdom, and is extremely intelligent and capable. Your players might get the sense that it would be very dangerous in the long run to end up on her bad side.

In appearance, she is a beautiful young woman with a shaved head, painted eyebrows and purple lips, in gold and white robes. She is accompanied at all times by two mute attendants, also women with shaved heads, whose tongues have been cut out, as they have sworn to serve Skorne the Androgyne all their life. She is skilled at fighting with the scimitar, and though she can perform great miracles through the power of Skorne, does not have the equivalent powers of a standard cleric.

PRINCESS DERRIDA VON CHASM

HP 40, AC 12 

2 attacks with a scimitar +8 for 1d8+1 damage, or channel shining Rays of Gold from her outstretched hand for 2d8 damage to demons and undead

Miracles: Heal (when cast, this puts her out for a week), Raise Dead (ritual takes a day of preparation), Excise Poison (Poison comes dribbling out of a person’s skin but inflicts 10d6 damage), Metal Body (skin turns to gold, AC +8 and reflect magic)

When she performs a miracle, she can transform into a beautiful young man or back into her female form, if she so desires.

What She Wants: To Find the Skoros Orb

What She Does Not Want: To Return to the Moriad, To See Her Parents

Her two mute attendants carry a Shrine to Skorne, which rests upon two swords which the attendants bear between them. Skorne is a beautiful androgynous deity with breasts and a phallus, Baphomet style. From one angle Skorne's face is lovely, from another it's fierce. Derrida prays before this shrine every morning and night.

She has hired a large retinue to accompany her. If the players decline or wish to travel separately, she will meet them again at the Canyons of Pain and Misfortune, where they will set up camp next to the ruined cannon.

Here are the people accompanying her:

Twelve Louts, young to middle aged men of low class and varying temperate and ability. They all excel at a different skill and musical instrument, which they carry with them at all times, but none of them are good at singing.  Otherwise, the louts all have the following stats:

THE LOUTS

HP 12, AC 12 

STR +2, CON +1, DEX +2, INT +0, WIS -1, CHA -2

Attack +4 for 1d6 damage (Melee and ranged, regardless of what weapon they use)

Uncanny Dodge: If they successfully save against a damaging effect, they take no damage

Heal to full every time they rest the night

Heal d12 hitpoints during a short rest

+15 to dice rolls when using the appropriate skill

Their names and capabilities:

• Malcheo, plays the GUITAR, skilled at COOKING
• Betty, plays the MANDOLIN, skilled at ASTROLOGY
• Dead Stansl, plays the TRUMPET, skilled at FIGHTING
• Krute, plays the BONGOS, skilled at ROPE TYING
• Lorry, plays the HARMONICA, skilled at SNEAKING
• Stoven. plays the PIPES, skilled at REPAIRING
• Yote. plays the TAMBOURINE, skilled at VENTRILOQUISM
• Ed, plays the BASS, skilled at CONTORTIONS
• Vulpo, plays the SPINNING WHISTLES ON A STRING, skilled at JUMPING
• Oira, plays the ACCORDION, skilled at LYING
• Ol' Ree, plays the SAXOPHONE, skilled at STRENGTH
• Toaden, skilled at CLARINET, skilled at SPORTS

The Louts do most of the dirty work: carrying, transporting, driving horses, digging pits, setting up camp, and so on. They are good natured and don't aspire to much more than their current status. They feel privileged to have been hired by a princess, and they love and guard her fiercely. They have friendships and rivalries among themselves, they play games, they enjoy the adventure for the most part, though they prefer resting and eating to fighting and work. If mistreated, they'll become grumpy and lazy, and the work of the caravan will slow down significantly. In short, they're pretty normal guys who are super excited to be on an adventure.

Next up, we have CLAPTROUS ORNG, a priest of VERNGI, THE HUNGRY MAN. 

Claptrous is a trap for the players. By all appearances he is an extremely friendly, boisterous, and helpful cleric, but in actuality, he is a complete psychopath who is obsessed with resurrecting the Grinning Pharaoh. He trained in a monastery in the Psychodesert across the ocean, and is traveling to the Black Pyramid with the express purpose of bringing the Grinning Pharaoh back to life. He does not know that the Grinning Pharaoh yet lives, sealed inside his pyramid.

 

He is a cunning liar, and will succeed on all lie checks, and will only lie if absolutely necessary. He says that he is a researcher and archaeologist, hoping to discover the secrets of his ancestors and the treasure of the Grinning Pharaoh. He will refuse to submit to a Detect Thoughts, and Princess Derrida will insist that she has thoroughly checked his background and credentials, all of which he faked. If he is forced to submit to a Detect Thoughts, his monastic training has helped him manufacture convincing but tinny surface thoughts. He will not talk much about his background or motivations, deflecting such questions as diplomatically as possible, and if pressed, will talk about his monastic training and answer some questions about his strange god, but will clearly be uncomfortable with it. He will otherwise at all times be helpful and generous with the players, as they are his ticket to the door of the Black Pyramid. Basically, as a DM, you should really try to make this guy a convincing ally, but if your players really really get on his case, go ahead and give it up. 

Ideally, he should survive until the players break into the Black Pyramid. When the players get to level 2, he should begin asking with increasing anxiety if they've found it yet. If they do find its front door, he will insist on accompanying them on the initial incursion inside. If they ignore his requests, he will go in on his own. Ideally, he's one of the first people roasted by the Golden Dragon. 

As soon as his secret is revealed, his personality should shift to a grating, zealous fanatic, and his boisterous friendliness should be obviously in retrospect just a shallow front. How on earth did we ever like this guy...?

In appearance, he's a big middle-aged guy in leathers, attended by a Slime named Corporate. Verngi is "The Hungry Man," "He Who Devours The Bones," God of Vultures, who deals chiefly with eating and the proper disposal of the dead (eating them). Every night at sunset Claptrous does a bizarre ritual where he eats and vomits up some food for his slime to eat. He knows this makes people uncomfortable, so he tries to do it out of sight.

CLAPTROUS ORNG, CLERIC OF VERNGI

HP 60 AC 14

 Whip +8 Reach 10’ 1d8. Crossbow +6 1d8. 

He can cast any cleric spell level 1-3 up to 4 times a day, and can cast level 4 and 5 cleric spells by taking 10 or 20 hitpoints of damage respectively. 

Also knows the following spells, each castable 1/week: 

WITHER: targets 1d6 foes within 30’, causing 2 levels of exhaustion and making it as if they had not eaten for a week, also causes them to lose a quarter of their bodyweight. 

DEVOUR: swallow a L or smaller target whole, provided they have 50 hitpoints or less. Attack roll, then swallows target, they take 6d6 damage immediately, then take 1d20 dmg per round. 

GREAT FEAST: Summons an elaborate feast capable of feeding 20 people, cures a level of exhaustion, provides a full rest, 2d10 temporary hitpoints, allows them to roll advantage on a saving throw made within the next 24 hours. This feast takes an hour to eat.

His Slime, “Corporate” 

HP 20 AC 16 

   Heals 10 HP per hour, if reaches 0 HP, rests as if dead for an hour then splits into 2 slimes with 20 HP, this continues infinitely. Can be slain by water (deals 1d6 damage per round) or electricity. 

It otherwise acts as a familiar with Blindsight, Stealth and Climb +15, and can squeeze through any small crack.

VLAWYN THE KET, and his young son BASHRO

Vlawyn is acting as Derrida's chief bodyguard and defense coordinator. He is a knight from the Merelunds, a foggy, magical kingdom with seven cursed lakes. He is fleeing Lord Hag, his old master. After he discovered evidence of corruption in the courts, Vlawyn's wife was slain in retribution, Vlawyn killed Lord Hag's high guard, and then fled the kingdom with his son. He will not talk freely at all about his background: he is a gruff, hard-hearted man covered in scars, clearly an accomplished warrior, and wearing fine armor forged of hardened bird feathers. He loves his son above all else. He's taking this job for the pay, and to get as far away from the Merelunds as possible.

Bashro is a four-year-old boy. He's basically like any boy his age, except he's already pretty good with a sword. He doesn't like the hard life he's been forced on, but doesn't yet question it. He misses his mother, but already barely remembers her. He wishes he could play more and didn't have to train so much. He's just a kid, but Vlawyn really loves him and is afraid of losing him, and he takes that out on him by forcing him to practice. If Bashro ever gets kidnapped or hurt, Vlawyn will get really, really scary.

                                               VLAWYN THE KET

HP 100 AC 22 

Sword +8 1d10+4 Greatbow +7 1d10+2 

Strength checks +10 

Can perform basically any fancy fighting ability by making a Strength check versus target’s attack roll.

 3 attacks per round. 

BASHRO

5 HP, AC 9, 

1 attack +4, 

can perform Dexterity checks at +8 

Can perform basically any distracting or quick-footed fighting ability by making a Dexterity check versus target’s armor class.

Illya Gruul, a Potionist. A blue-haired woman from Solemn Cry, Orostranthy's decaying capitol city. She carries a faded leather suitcase filled with potion and alchemical materials. Illya was hired to give the caravan an edge against whatever they might find, and she seeks a particular magic mushroom that grows only from the skulls of wizards, which will really just level up her research. She's a really nice person with no evil secrets or tragic backstory.

This mushroom can be found on Level Three, growing out of Illith Varn's severed head.

Illya Gruul

HP 30 AC 11 

Knife +6 1d4 Crossbow +6 1d8.

Given a day, she can prepare any potion that replicates a wizard spell of levels 1 to 3. This has to make sense in the context of a drinkable potion: no potions of Magic Missile, for instance. It costs 200 gp per level of the spell, and she provides NO DISCOUNTS.

She can also brew a random potion for 300gp if they prefer something weird.

In combat, she can grope in her bag and come up with a random potion 3 times a day.

She has also prepared four unique potions which cannot be replaced: TORNADO (creates a tornado for 1d10 rounds when uncorked), ANTILOVE (if a person is in love or simply loves another human, this potion kills it), GIANT STRENGTH (for 1d10 rounds, all strength rolls are a natural 30), and LASER EYES (gets a laser attack every round for 5d6 damage, lasts 1d10 rounds). She will mention these only on really special occasions, and will only part with them for a ridiculous sum of money. Start at 3000 gold.

Finally, we have RATTO THE RAT, a gross guy from Belmric who was brought in for his thief-like capabilities. He has poor hygiene, is really greedy, and terrible in a fight. After the players have been in the dungeon for a while (maybe after they get to Level Three), he can set up a supply chain to bring in standard provisions given a day's notice, and sell treasure for them through his chain of contacts. My players didn't find much use for this guy, but I'll include him anyway.

RATTO THE RAT

HP 25 AC 18 (Dexterity), 

all Dexterity based checks +10, 

Advantage to Lock-pick, Trap-disarming, Sneaking, Climbing, and Listening. 

He has a sword and a shortbow +6 1d6 damage, but always attacks with disadvantage. 

Given an hour he can rig a simple but deadly trap that deals 8d6 damage when triggered.

That's it! Feel free to let your players use these characters as they see fit. A lot of the powers the NPCs bring to bear are flexible, and can be used to fill any gaps the players might have in their arsenal as they face the varied obstacles of the dungeon. The NPCs will happily accompany the PCs into the dungeon, though their stats should make them pretty vulnerable to most traps and monsters. In my game, the surface NPCs have ended up as a nice break from the dungeon, a source of friendly drama, romance, and friendship. My players hired a few more NPCs to pad out the retinue, and recruited a bunch of people from inside the dungeon to join their camp. At the end, their camp was more like a thriving little town, than the hard-scrabble rain-covered survival camp it started as.