What's in a session? (after Twin Peaks: The Return)

Well, after you've been at a game long enough, almost anything.

Some notable good sessions in recent history:

• Players have a job interview and get a job
• Players talk to every ally of villain, in hopes of finding chinks in his social / institutional armor
• Players arrange a spicy chicken festival in town, as means to publicly accuse evil duke, this leads to his immediate public crucifixion
• Players find and recruit chef of local black market auction house, who is actually an undercover crimeboss, to be their personal chef
• Players follow a trail of bureaucratic paper in order to submit a time off request / leave of absence
• Players escape across a lake of slime in the pouring rain, pursued by a mob of diseased psychos

Regularly, something that seems unimportant or previously small will become magnified in detail, and will become the subject or an entire half session or session or even multiple sessions. Because of this, small but concrete details should be established and fully explored on their own terms, so that the game can open naturally.

I've been thinking of Twin Peaks: The Return a lot. It's a TV show where pretty much anything can happen and the action goes into so many time periods, emotions, and dimensions, that there's never (at least on the first watch) a sense that anything resembling a plot is happening, except that it's interesting. There's the famous episode that takes place inside a nuclear blast, and then there's the strange late season boss fight, and there's touching moments with beloved characters, and there's new villains with magic powers, and there's a dream sequence. Frequently, the TV show takes long diversions from what seems to be the plot, where characters who seemed to be unimportant suddenly take over and don't let go.

This lets the show set up the loveliest and sweetest possible moments, as well as moments of excruciating horror and sadness. Characters who seemed to be lost find unexpected courage, and characters who seemed to be heroes become lost, and all throughout this are dozens of other, small, quiet moments that give the show an indescribable liveliness and strength. There's a famous, long scene that simply shows a bar-worker sweeping a floor. It's pretty remarkable.

Recently, the players have been encountering the seven wives of General Malagon of the Cruelest Eye. One of them is half demon, and she is jealous and possessive. The other six are only part demon, and they are sweet and submissive, and fear the General, and their names are MONEY, LIFE, EXCELLENT, DAUGHTER, MEGAN, and VALERIE. They sleep together in a large heart-shaped bed, and were given care of the General's hostage, a four-year-old named Bashro, who they doted upon and fed sweets. Bashro's father is the formidable warrior VLAWYN THE KET, who has been teaching him the way of the sword, and is hard on him.

When the Bashro was rescued, it seemed important to create a big scene: the wives have fallen for Bashro, and are heartbroken he is leaving, and for his own part, Bashro's stoicism has broken--he calls for the wives when he is taken from them, he has never known a mother, and now he has six, he has never been doted upon or given sweets, or felt love, and he is young, so he has temporarily forgotten his father. 

The players, not trusting the wives, did not allow the boy one last goodbye with them. He was crushed, and so were the wives. I don't know how it's going to shake out.

So this is what I got out of Twin Peaks: The Return. You don't know what's going to happen, but the show is happy to linger on the smallest of moments. Sometimes they add up to something you might call plot, but mostly they exist on their own terms. I think this is an important skill in running a good game. You don't have to rush things, you can let the world exist on its terms, and you should feel free to let the characters and scenarios act out.

I personally like to let these seemingly unimportant interactions take precedence over what seems to be the major action of the game. There is a major quest at play, and it is an important quest geopolitically as well as personally for many of the NPCs and an important quest spiritually in terms of the spiritual health of the kingdom, which has been ruined by the malice of the object the players (and everyone else) are pursuing. But at the same time these are all these small characters the players have met on their quest, and I don't know how they're going to become important, or even if they will. But in the meantime it seems necessary to give these characters plenty of space (and time during a session) to act out.

At the start of their journey, the players were introduced to Claptrous Orng, a priest of Verngi, "The Hungry Man." I always knew that Claptrous was a devotee of the Grinning Pharaoh, and was lying to the players in order to get them to lead him to the Grinning Pharaoh. What I did not know was how close the players would get to him, and how charmed they would be by his affability, his friendliness, his confidence and ease, and his willingness to help. These moments became core to Claptrous' character, and a unique pleasure in running the game. Claptrous was a good guy who was also an obsessed sociopath.  When the priest kidnapped half of camp and got them all captured by the bad guys, these character moments became a driving force of the game -- why would Claptrous betray them? isn't he a good guy? It turned out he was utterly hollow in his obsession and devotion to his dead master. What does that mean for his friendship with the players? This is a mystery that probably won't be solved, and isn't meant to be.

This isn't to say I don't have grander designs for the shape of the game. I've definitely mapped out big set fights, characters, and locations I want the players to meet and experience. I always hoped against hope that they would release the Golden Dragon, otherwise I wouldn't have put him in there. I always knew the Claptrous Orng would find a way to betray the players. But there is always room for the characters and the game to derail itself, and I think it's in that possibility that the game gains real power and real impact and real importance, and creates real mystery.

BOSS FIGHTS

I've got love/hate relationship with d&d boss fights. Exciting, chance to challenge players' tactics and introduce some batshit enemies. However, they are constrained in area, stressful to run, stressful for players, and occasionally disappointing. Challenge in high level dungeons and dragons, I find, is generally around players mitigating and managing a complex environment. But sometimes a difficult and thrilling stand-up fight is necessary -- brute force being a tactic the opponent brings to bear. And I love boss fights.

Here are some boss fights they've beat so far:

LORD OF CHANGE, a random encounter boss fight in Thrice Cursed Prison of Dendric Vast. Giant vulture man with mutating staff. High hit points, high damage, always accompanied by cultists. Randomly causes changes in environment, swaps players, stuff like that. Big weakness: Not very smart, underestimates opponents. I don't even remember how they beat him but it took a couple tries, and then they had his soul trapped in their soul-trapping mace for a long time. His name was President Ose, and he wasn't very helpful after death.

ANTIPALADINS OF URIZEN: three powerful antipaladins with overlapping, mutually reinforcing auras. High AC, high damage, but the auras don't affect the caster. Players beat this one by tricking the antipaladins and killing them one by one.

CARNIFEX PALLID GROSS: final boss of Thrice Cursed Prison of Dendric Vast. A disgusting old man in a floating cage in middle of giant 50' cubic room, guarded by t-rex head, a reanimated saint of Urizen, called Saint Lorgo. Pallid Gross' high level cleric powers are blocked by his enchanted cage, but every round his demon lord grants him new mutations (acid spit, long barbed tongue, chest mouth), and eventually busts out of his cage with super strength. Meanwhile Saint Lorgo can create multicolored replicas of himself to fly around and eat opponents' emotions. Furthermore, during battle, all surfaces of cube are fair game to walk on due to altered gravity, but each surface has a different hazard. Players beat this one with tried and true tactic, camp in doorway and shoot arrows and spells.

AGELESS PRIEST OF THE TEMPLE OF A NAMELESS GOD: In belltower of temple of the nameless god, an ageless priest keeps a funeral pyre lit. Big, extremely strong melee guy, every round his dead god does weird effect, like turn him invisible. This did not communicate well. My players are like, "why did the moon go into eclipse every round?" Because I thought it would be awesome. Afterwards, also asked, "what would have happened if we had put out the fire? I told them: the priest would have gone insane and jumped off the tower, auto-win.

OROSTRANTHIAN WAR MECHA: first boss of Shattered Labyrinths of Illith Varn. Room one, enemiy one. Strengths: extremely high AC, high hitpoints, high melee damage, legendary actions and my special favorite, seeking laser gun which remembers targets and can shoot them from around corners up to 300 feet away, targeting everyone in a line (this meant to beat tactic of "camp in doorway and shoot arrows"). Other strengths: Every 100 hit-points of damage, vents an incendiary cloud to deal 10d8 damage.  Weakness: Critical hits on this guy pull up a chunk of his armor revealing crude flesh, attacking flesh does critical hits. And no way to self-dispel effects that originate from outside of 5e. They beat this guy by using KEENING VAMPIRE LUNGE, an artifact from our old game, to give him a -21 to attack for two rounds. Nonetheless, it took them a solid three tries. I could only justify this boss by making him fully optional, but inconvenient to keep alive. Their total joy on finally beating him made it totally worth it, plus he had a lot of really good loot.

GENERAL VEXX: First of Illith Varn's four generals. An archer with lots of attacks, and each round a powerful AOE to throw at the players. Strengths: faster than the players, with longer range. I wanted this guy to be a complex running fight. Weakness: grapple. They caught him and held him with grapple pretty quick. I still think 5e's grapple and skills proficiency mechanic is bad for exactly this reason: small to large size bosses lose a ton of mobility unless you give them a conscious anti-grapple mechanic, or a grapple score incommensurate to what you would expect. Legitimate technique, disappointing outcome. Won't be making that mistake twice.

OROSTRANTHIAN WAR GOLEMS: Seven jolly stone men, each with a different power. Strengths: Numbers, speed, unpredictability, and frankly insane powers. Weakness: sequence breaking. Players beat these guys by using their brains and finding a well-hidden secret door to completely bypass them. Mad respect.

SLAAD TRIARCHY: Final boss of the tower of slime. Strengths: no way out! Purposely did dungeon master bullshit to counteract their tendency to teleport out of sticky situations, in this case "The plane of slime is too close at hand! your teleport isn't working." When they opened obvious boss door, I said, "Are you sure you're ready to open this door?"and made tidal wave of slime come behind them, trapping them. So that was fun. Other strengths: speed, area of effect spells. Each one had a different theme, like one was meant to be an upclose fighter, one had area of effect slime spells, one had debuffs, I think. Weaknesses: medium range hit-points, medium armor. In the background they had a tortured unicorn casting buffs on them. This fight rocked, but I forgot to give them loot? An anticathartic outcome made sense for the tower of slime, I guess.

CORVENON, SON OF VALATHEX: Green half-dragon with shriveled little wings. Statistically identical to an adult 5e dragon (black? green? I forget), with a bonus moonlight power it can shoot out of its eyes as a legendary action in lieu of a wing buffet, and its breath attack causes you to deal half damage. Other strengths: high AC, high hit points, very big. Weaknesses: emotional, bad tempered, stubborn, and arrogant. Is that a weakness? I don't know. They never beat this guy, instead walling him off with wall of force and doing their heist before the spell ended.

GENERAL MALAGON: Second of Illith Varn's four generals. Strengths: high level wizard, many allies, entrenched headquarters that he refuses to leave, highly intelligent, does not underestimate players. Weaknesses: single minded obsession, which is, finding a way to enter the realm of the gods so that he can kill a god so that he can use its blood in his golden crucible in order to forge a ring of flight in order to fly all the way to a distant star, and never see another living being again. Players have not yet bested Malagon, but may not need to, as he has sent them on another quest, this time in a direction they want to go.

THE GOLDEN DRAGON: I've mentioned him. Strengths I'm willing to reveal so far: high damage fire breath. Sneaky, and willing to travel far outside his boss room. Dragon fear makes it impossible to approach while under the influence. Difficult saving throws for all of this. Weaknesses: underestimated players on first go-round. They did their anti-dragon wall of force tactic and sneaked around him.

THE DEADBOYZ: Ah, the Deadboyz, a rival adventuring party I've been threatening them with for 2-3 years. Like the players, but perverted: more evil, more violent, more willing to ingratiate themselves with the enemy, and more willing to lie, kill, steal, and manipulate to get what they want. A dark mirror. A thief, a wizard, and a fighter (?), accompanied by the Deadboyz Battalion, 30-50 horrible mutants. Finally the players caught them by surprise on level three of the dungeon and launched a surprise attack. Strengths: higher level than the players, high hitpoints, high armor class, lots of powerful magic items, gadgets, spells, and contingency plans. Thief has very high sneak attack bonus as well as the players' legitimate but bullshit "cunning action" rogue power which lets them hide and dash as a bonus action, well see how it feels now!! wizard has 9th level spells and is for some reason accompanied by a child (a monster in disguise?), cold-themed fighter (?) has some magic (?), and an aura that strips max hit-points, as well as a magic hooded lantern that shoots a laser of fire, which my players promptly stole and are trying to use it against them, to little avail. Highly cooperative and highly trained and tuned in to each other. Sometimes I play enemies a little dumb, I figure the Deadboyz are my chance to play exactly as smart as I want to, with much of the knowledge that I, dungeon master, have about the players' class powers and fighting tactics. These guys have made it to level 18 for good reason. Weakness: I only have one brain, while my players have four and they are smarter than me, and my computer really chugs when I open all the tabs I need to run these guys effectively. Players are currently fighting them and it's shaping up to be a mess. I can't wait.

FUTURE BOSS FIGHTS:

Who could remain, in, THE SHATTERED LABYRINTHS OF ILLITH VARN?

The other two generals of Illith Varn have been named. They are Kaviel the Strange, and Ser Senedar the White. Ser Senedar is famed for his sword-fighting, and they encountered some of his knights on level one, but they know nothing of Kaviel, or why he is strange.

Ilken Wart the Laboratician runs the Bio-Recombination Lab. Every once in a while the players think about going back in there, but there's a crystal mist in there that does 1 hitpoint of damage for each 10 feet they walk, and deep inside they encountered some shadows shaped like Lords of Change which stole XP and ability scores and KOd Dirtface in one round, so they manage to talk themselves out of it every time.

The Black Pharaoh of the Grinning Pharaoh is named after one of the ancient rulers of the Psychodesert, and said to be buried inside. The two to three revenant warriors dislodged from time who guard the pyramid's entrance were awfully worried about the possibility of him coming back to life, but that doesn't seem likely, right?

General Malagon has sent them to steal a crown from a Demon of Song. Its music seems to permeating level three, and when their mantis-man, Zaxas, tried to sing his Fine Song and buff the players, he instead accidentally sang the demon's song, to no effect.

It is said that, before his death, Illith Varn built a golden tomb for himself. Nick, immediately on hearing this: "Fuck, I shoulda known he was a lich!"

Sometimes Nick says he wants to fight the Purple Dragon, Terrifex. He sleeps beneath the tower of slime in a bottomless pit in a crown the size of a stadium, which to be clear he more than fills. I say, bring it on.

The Golden Dragon

In the depths of the Black Pyramid of the Grinning Pharaoh, secreted far underground by the long dead kingdom of Uldru, in a black chamber where a black statue of a screaming pharaoh reclines gargantuanly, the players fought their once allies, the duplicitous priest Claptrous Orng and duplicitous snake-man Lithrezeck. Even with his last breath the priest lied, and the snake-man shrieked his right to the Screaming Serpent Staff, and bit at his foes. They died, but managed to barely open one door into an innermost chamber of the pyramid, whose ancient mechanisms worked only well enough to crack it.

"Phew, let's take a rest. Should we rest here?"
"Maybe we should make sure the next room is safe first"
"I'll take a quick look"

Dirtface crawls on his belly into the crack, in one hand thrusting forth a gleaming skull, whose shining eyes light upon more wealth than he has ever seen: an ocean of gold, weaponry, armaments, and jewels, gold, glittering from all corners of the massive room, and the golden pantheon of the Psychodesert presiding, jackalmen, scarabmen, falconmen, sphinxes, skeleton headed pharaohs, all grinning -- (at this point Dirtface's player, Nick, to my delight, says "Oh no") -- and atop the bed of gold a dragon, all of gold, but fairly small (maybe the size of two lions) lifts its head, adjusts its wings, uncoils its tail, and looks at Dirtface. Its claws and horns and hide glitter. Dirtface loses initiative. The dragon breathes fire.

"Okay, make a Dexterity saving throw, difficulty 22. Failure? Okay, you take 96 damage"
We wait a beat
Nick: "9d6 damage, right? How much damage was that?"
Me, delighted again: "Oh no, 96"

At this point, sirens start from somewhere out of sight. The eyes of the gold statues light up. The ceiling begin to strobe a flashing white. A low beat is drumming from another room. The sirens get louder. The dragon is screaming and standing up. The 50 foot tall jackal-head statues in a previous room, their eyes are lighting up and they're starting to move, creakily.

"We need to get out of here"

So they do, quickly, via teleport, but not before Sad Ed the Bard casts a spell to close the door to the dragon's room.

Next session: "Alright, Sad Ed, you're walking down the hallway, Dirtface is sneaking 20 feet in front of you. You feel yourself gripped by a pair of claws, you're lifted into the air. Hanging from the ceiling above you is the golden dragon. Its tail and wings are unfolding from the darkness where it was hiding. An unbearable heat is coming off its hide. You take 19 damage . . ."
Thomson, Sad Ed's player: "Wait, I closed the door. Even though I closed the dragon's door?"
"Yeah, sorry. It was a good idea. Go ahead and roll for initiative."

A solid hour of panic ensues, but they manage to escape again.

Thomson: "I'm afraid it's hunting our gold."
Me: "Apropos of nothing, where do you keep your gold?"
Thomson: "There's like a blank space right between my shoulders where I reach back for my stuff..."
"Ah, inventory null space. Alright good to know."

So now they're being hunted by a dragon.

DM tips

Here's my DM tips

Tell the players when NPC is lying, unless NPC is really good at lying
Show off enemy powers
Try to meditate morning of d&d game
Set obstacles and problems and let players solve them however they want
Don't use dragons until they're really high level
Never re-use a monster, they get boring really really quickly
For persuasion type conversations, only let players roll after when the NPC isn't sure how to respond, or when there's an appropriate break in the conversation where you don't know how the NPC would respond
If something doesn't make sense to the players and "show not tell" isn't working, just tell them what's going on
Try to keep the game in a zone of pleasant challenge, "high level" doesn't have to mean "hard"
For stealth, always roll stealth vs perception
Give one-enemy boss fights ability to re-save against powers affecting them by sacrificing their extra actions, these guys can get locked down really really quickly and it's not as fun
For the hardest encounters, think about the tactics your players rely on, and design encounters to bust those tactics
When you aren't sure how a monster will respond to parley, think about its temperament and desires
It's okay for some monsters to be intractable, that's why they're monsters
Always leave room for mystery, things that can't be easily discovered, or secrets that refer to deeper secrets, things hidden inside other things, that way curiosity will be consistently rewarded and also the world will seem (and actually be) both dense and larger than the players
It's okay for some NPCs to be purely good-hearted and helpful, but use these guys sparingly. They can then be treated as an emotional resource to fuck with and threaten. But also they're nice to have around to introduce levity and comfort
When the players panic, slow down combat
As much as possible, re-narrate exactly what's happening in combat during each player's turn
Close off all escape routes only sparingly, and when you're prepared for a possible TPK
Tumblr is still a good resource for ideas
D&d is most fun when there are vivid and strange characters to talk to, so put opportunities for that in every session

Ok that's all I got for now

General Malagon of the Cruelest Eye

General Malagon of the Cruelest Eye, one of the four living generals of the slain wizard Illith Varn. He has one horn, his hands are bent like claws, he lives on the second level of the Shattered Labyrinths of Illith Varn in a well-protected sanctum. He has seven wives, all of them are part demon and one of them is half-demon. He's befriended the Deadboyz, the rival adventuring party in the dungeon. He's captured several of the party's attendant louts, as well as Bashro, the four-year-old son of their traveling knight, Vlawyn the Ket. And he guards the way down to level three, which they need to make progress. And on top of all that, he's a powerful wizard, apparently specialized particularly in the spell Disintegrate.

Here are Malagon's known defenses and allies:

An ENCHANTED ANTECHAMBER that traps you in an infinite repetition of mirrored antechambers unless you pass through them in the correct order
ENCHANTED SNAKE-HEAD DOOR-HANDLES, which guard his inner sanctum, and which bite your hand if you don't have the key
A number of THREE-LEGGED CRANE-MEN, all proficient in the fighting arts and able to come back to life
THIRTY HEADLESS FLOATING TORSOS wielding serrated weapons, whom the inhabitants of Malagon's headquarters refer to collectively as NERWO, and suggest may be partially omniscient
HOYVEN LARTH, an adventurer proficient in the rapier, who has abandoned his quest to find his mother's soul, and prefers to spend his day rereading the same crime novel
VARGA and NORN, twin goth sorceresses, wearing ankhs around their necks, and eating black cake. They are bored and wish they could kill something. Their bored cat Bat has told the party they are reluctant to be separated from their ankhs...
The lava elemental TANTRUM, a newt-man who lives in a giant walking metal brazier filled with lava. The brazier's named is CHARD. Tantrum is working for payment in rubies, he would rather live in the Plane of Fire but Malagon is paying him too well.
SIX LOVELY WIVES, each with a different demonic bodypart. Their powers are unknown, but they delight in the soft, perfumed, and lovely things. They have possession of the young boy Bashro.
FELRA, the head of Malagon's harem. Her left half is a bright red scaled demon. She seems to know magic, but powers are unknown.
A DISGUSTING INSECTILE MONSTER, which guards the party's louts. Its powers are unknown.
THE DEADBOYZ, a party of three powerful evil adventurers and their large number (30+) of monstrous Deadboys. Their exact relation to Malagon is unknown, their powers are unknown, and their location is unknown.

Notably, he has captive the SKY WITCH, QUEEN JUPITER VOLARIS, who surely hates him. At this point though, the party has calculated that the Sky Witch probably hates them too, and so they're reluctant to free her.

He sent the party to the Flying Fortress of the Sky Witch in order to recover the Sky Witch's diary, which he has offered in exchange for the boy Bashro. Malagon desires to kill a god, in order to use its blood to forge a Ring of Flight (my players: "so he can... fly around..?"), and in his psychic barrage of the captive Sky Witch's mind was able to determine that she held a useful secret in her fortress, but could not tell what. The party has discovered that the eye of the Sky Witch's adopted daughter, the maiden Xoanna Julius, leads directly into the Celestial Realm of the Witch Goddess Izorides, and so they are reluctant to give Malagon the diary unaltered. Not because they care about the god, but because they like Xoanna, who they have secreted away in a distant and well-guarded black-market auction house, along with her lover, the Prince Aldarys of the Kingdom of Loiveth.

I hope they all fight each other in a huge multi-session brawl but you can't always get what you want.

dragon poem

Dragons are living
Underneath
In coils
Where the sun doesn't shine
Far below the water
Enshrined
Entwined
They laugh
They scoff at us

We are fast
They have been together
Pierced by daggers
Slain
Memorialized in quatrain
Declining
But alive
Their eyes are red
Their tongues, red
Sleek, shining
Finely adorned
Dragons
Who eat
Who cut
They come out at night
And fill
And return to their waiting nests
Where rivers pour

Fuck
I wish I could see them
Sunning
But, hidden, underground
They are safe
And can exist apart

Last week my players fought their first dragon: Corvenon, Son of Valathex, who guards the Flying Fortress of the Sky Witch, and finally decided after enough of their shenanigans that they deserved to die. They weren't expecting this, and he stripped their wizard and bard of 2/3 of their HP in his first round with his poison dream fog breath breath, and they put up a wall of force and ran. I'm very proud of Corvenon. I hope he never dies.

spell ideas

spell takes one power or spell from one character and gives it to another
spell makes an area assume the qualities of night time
spell allows seeing through walls
spell makes person exceedingly small, size of mouse
spell creates rays of golden light
spell causes object to swell
spell causes object to melt that wouldn't otherwise
spell causes object to float and bob buoyantly, either in air or in water
spell causes own skin to become poisonous
spell allows you to move so fast as to be instantaneous, but no additional movement speed
spell makes body stretchy and rubbery
spell guarantees a good night's sleep
spell pulls disease out of body as a slug, slug now causes disease
spell causes song or message to hang in the air, repeating
spell allows you to eavesdrop back in time
spell creates an exceedingly sharp and long lance
spell causes you to melt into fluid form, move quickly
spell shoots you straight up, then fall very slowly
spell makes only one part of your body poisonous
spell creates unnatural winter
spell summons an elf
spell makes person short-sighted, cannot see more than ten feet
spell allows you to see fine details at a distance of one mile or more
spell gives you extra arms
spell gives you claws for one attack, reaction?
spell creates multiple illusory doubles in sight, you teleport

the west

It is said that Deirregex, the Black Dragon, came out of the west, and drove out the frost giants of the Hatemountain, and made war upon the white elves of Velenheim, and made their civilization into ruin

To the west lies great Belmric, the city in snow, and the wastes around Belmric are covered in the bones of the wars brought to the city, and over the bones the many winters of snow have fallen, and more bones, and ice

West of Belmric, the Merelunds, where the seven cursed lakes lie in fog, and the seven city-states make slow wars in the deep fog, except for Dead Kizaad, which was laid waste by Vlaurung, the Red Dragon

West of the Merelunds it said lies the Kingdom of Lamdru, who was born of the Egg Moon, and keeps 700 wives

It is said that the worst spirits can be called from the West, that they are invincible, indestructible, and possessed of unbreakable strength, and unbreakable resolve, and a desire for murder, but can be tricked with simple tasks, which they devote all their attention and care to, until they are released, and called back to the West

Hagar Blath, Queen of the Witches, who rules in the Mountains of Hunger, came out of the west as well, and usurped the Sky Witch, who fled in her Flying Fortress and was not seen for years uncounted

The spirits of the North and the South are sometimes called good, for they are at worst benign, or trickster spirits, who at their own leisure do not make murder or wreak harm, only small mischiefs, or even aid

The spirits of the East are cruel, unapproachable, powerful, and capricious. Beware a dry east wind. But beware most the high, cold winds that blow strongly from the west, for it is a herald of death

the known planes of existence

These are the dimensions my players have had direct contact with. They're getting high level and this stuff is coming up more and more frequently, sometimes in worrying ways. They haven't traveled personally to any other dimensions yet (pretty sure), but have dealt with interlopers from or have had to deal with the effects of them.

Reality -- this of course is where everything happens

Plane of Fire -- they've met a handful of conjured fire elementals, and found a puzzlebox that seems connected to the plane of fire somehow. Most recently they've met the elemental Salliflax, who keeps the Flying Fortress of the Sky Witch afloat. He's basically Calcifer.

Hell -- they helped a young noblewoman at a black market auction buy a magical diving bell which can transport those inside directly to Hell. What is Hell? Common knowledge says devils come from Hell, and bad people go to Hell when they die, but the slain Demon Lords were on Earth from the start. Players have not yet made the journey to Hell. It's hard to find the time, but the noblewoman who took the trip reported that she had a direct view of Castle Satan.

Realm of Fenrath, God of Wolves -- in very first adventure, players found a magic glass that looked into a vast, darkened forest. The gods retreated to their separate realms after they defeated the demon lords, and do not venture out.

"Hot Car Dimension" -- players looted a ring from a trio of beast-headed demons that can conjure a scalding hot door, behind scalding hot door is a small, metal, scalding hot room. They put things in there they want to forget about, like frost demons. They aren't sure of its true nature but it's definitely another plane or demiplane. Hot Car Dimension is just what they call it.

Whatever's embedded in the Hyperplasmic Gap of the Silk Wall -- they found a path through the massive wall that separates the Blighted Lands from Orostranthy, but when they looked within, they found a great ocean of gold, a foreign sky, and an alien creature sunning itself on obsidian plinths. They declined to explore and flew over the wall instead.

Whatever's surrounding the Thrice Cursed Prison of Dendric Vast -- crawling over the ramparts from the inside of the prison leads to a darkened, blighted landscape covered in ruins and alien creatures. Three alien moons float in the sky, the stars are too close and bright. What is this place?

Other possible planes of existence?

Other Elemental Planes -- I'm not sure they've ever met or conjured other elementals than fire, but given the spell options they must exist, right?

Plane of Slime -- they found a triumvirate of slaad conjuring a river of slime from a tortured unicorn. Also issuing forth, a variety of horrible insect monsters. Killing the slaad closed the portal, so no chance to explore further.

Carcosa -- they've stumbled on a handful of references to this place. Might be an alien planet, might be another plane of existence, maybe it's somewhere in reality?

Other "stars" and "planets" -- these seem to be places one could travel to. They found a magic orrery that lets them project their mind to these places. They found hideous monsters of alien intelligence that blasted them with psychic assaults, among other mysteries.

The Other Celestial Realms -- where are they? how does one get there? How many exist? It's widely known Belm, Izorides, and Otin have retreated to their own realms, but are there others? The wizard Malagon of the Cruelest Eye desires to kill a god and steal their blood for his divine crucible, in order to forge a ring of flight, but cannot find a way in.

Astral Plane -- Astral plane, what's that? It's on the 9th level spell list so it must exist, but . . .

Wherever demons come from that's not reality and not Hell -- they've met many many demons that are summoned or at least seem to appear from somewhere else, and that place is not Hell, probably. So.. what is it?

Planes that do not exist

Heaven -- absolutely not

Ethereal Plane -- I disallowed the spell etherealness because I don't like how it lets you phase through objects so freely, and because I think the ethereal plane is lame and boring.

Any of the other standard D&D outer planes, like, I don't know, Limbo, and any alignment focused planes. They are so many of them I can't keep them straight and I don't like the monsters.

Shadowfell and Feywild -- just not my jam

The Abyss -- Cool high fantasy concept but I prefer demons to be a little more malleable and variable. The word "demon" seems to be a catch-all for a variety of horrible spirits and monsters, most of them connected to or allied with the slain Demon Lords, but many of them not. Anyway, the Abyss as imagined in second through fifth edition D&D does not exist.

I think that covers it for now.

kings

king has stairs in his chest leading down
king kills anyone who comes before him, this is widely known and accepted
king has gone to live on foreign star, promises to return
king wields sword, only weapon that can slay him
king has killed all the dragons except one
king can see your moral failings
king has one red side, one human side, red side exists in hell
king has dagger in his chest from attempted assassination, if dagger removed, king dies and kingdom goes with it
king has flooded throneroom with swamp water
king has flooded throneroom with his own tears
king has flooded throneroom with blood from own subjects
king emits strange song whenever his mouth opens
king is completely silent, never talks or moves
king will move again in 25 years, until that, you're on your own
king is weak and easily subdued
king enjoys watching children, children are with him at all times
king is only one who knows the way to the true throneroom
king is only one who knows he is not the true king
king has locked his double in a tower underground, if they come within 10 feet, they both die
king holds a scepter that determines the true heir
king has strange wife
king has evil wife
king's wife has disappeared
king has four princes and one princess, each is battling for control of kingdom
king has forgotten his identity
king has been cursed to be a strange object or animal
king has been cursed so that his hands are extremely heavy
king always sees one day into the future
king knows how his kingdom will fall, desperately working to prevent this
king has kindly wife
evil king
king is jealous of other king, works his subjects far too hard in order to beat this other king
king plotting to gain control of sun or moon or important weather (storms, winter), in order to further shore up his claim to the throne
king can bring the dead to life
king has one golden hand
everything king touches turns to wheat
king is guarded by two angels, who give him divine guidance and friendship
king is wisest in all the land, except he is too old and no one listens
king has trusted councilor who gives evil advice, is working for evil end
king has sworn fealty to an evil emperor, cannot see or overlooks his flaws
king desires a surplus of beautiful maidens
king's wife desires of surplus of exotic fruit (pomegranates, tangerines, cherries)
king has been appointed by demon of hell, maintains reign by demonstrating demonic power

6 things

g+ dead, back out cold, computer dead, i’m home from work. guess i’ll blog

6 jewels
1. bright red, set in campire to burn it brighter, rest for 1 hour get 1d10 temp hitpoints
2. cold and clear as night sky, sought by Vernalus Varn to contain his unruly twin soul
3. small can fit in fold of palm, gleaming green. piece of sky of shattered Janthus, can empower spells that cause flight to last twice as long, or affect one other person but last 1/2 as long
4. smoky, knuckle sized. crystalized thoughts of self entombed dwarf mage. inside is spell flesh to crystal
5. a pin, on head of pin is fleck of diamond, inside diamond fleck is fortress, the fortress of Yorgund Grasl, hidden king
6. livid purple, shines in starlight bright as a torch. skeletons seek the holder

6 enemy (boss?) powers
1. set all in sight on fire
2. spell cast on it empowered, gets cast by enemy for free next round
3. gleaming shining anime tears (always crying), its sadness gives it unbreakable strength (strength 30), and it can dodge one attack for free every round; if you cheer it up it cant do this
4. its allies are weapons — has like 5-6 guys fighting with it that it can transform into overpowered weapons (scythe, double sword, massive sword, meteor hammer, etc) that all deal at least one dice extra in dmg and like does cleave and are magical
5. turn into shadow when moves, only corporeal when still or attacking
6. shiny rubber skin. can fall from any height. projectile weapons bounce off.

6 friendly NPCs
1. Roga Lorn, bread baker, hates her neighbors, handmakes
miniature figurines to put in her breads as surprises
2. Ferelda Blight, a fine but little known pianist, is always out buying flowers for her house and piano, likely witness to anything the PCs do in public
3. Xelda, a blue-nosed dog, desiring meats and friendship, her owner is always drinking at whatever bar the PCs are at, so Xelda is also always around
4. Posl, gender ambiguous but attractive and a little too rambunctious, training in same weapon as the PC but a little more advanced, eggs PC on to do things maybe not such a great idea
5. Mundo Mon, a walking cleric of the Glass Hills, shows up exclusively when PCs have taken a hard hit, can offer very limited healing for a cheap price, and advice on good nearby views
6. Ultra Vog, a princess in disguise, she appears to be an older man practiced with the machete and hammer, a fan of the PCs, but gets herself into trouble and takes foolhardy risks as soon as she meets them, every single time

here's a post

so it's been determined beyond a doubt that zak sabbath is an evil man and should be ostracized from our communities. unfortunately i used to support and admire him. i defended him at times and i'm ashamed of it. certainly his blog and his work is what drew me into the online gaming communities. and in fact, it was his ideas that brought me back into playing dungeons and dragons, and revived my interest in the game. out of all the ideas and theories and writings and books i found, his were the freshest and most intelligent, most usable, clearest, and most aligned with the way i wanted to play the game. and many of his ideas have done well by me over the years, and i use them often.

unfortunately he is also a manipulative narcissist and abuser. i was one of those taken in by him. much could and will be said about the processes by which he manipulated people. for myself, the desire to be cool, to be part of the scene, to be validated and liked by a celebrity, the reluctance to fight, and other more painful insecurities. at times over the past couple days i've felt nausea, anger, disgust, sadness. i take this to be a grief.

finally for me, the decision to break contact with him happened about a year and a half ago, after a long conversation with him, when he failed to follow his own rules, particularly to answer all questions and to assume good faith. and also because of his insane and dehumanizing stated belief that the consequences of a person's actions are inseparable from their core identity. and more than that, his contempt and disdain for the feelings of those he despised and attempted to control, which contempt is the necessary prerequisite for the more serious evils humans perform. i wish i had said something publicly.

others have said this but mandy's post immediately created the feeling of a spell having been lifted. what had been obvious for a long time is simply true. it is a relief.

i do believe that the beautiful things a person makes are separate from them. i was even about to write a review of the immortal zoo of ping feng, which i ran for my new players last month. it was a fun filler dungeon, very engaging and scary for my players, but without the zip of self-created content, and a little bit tough to run due to being disorganized in the writing. however now i can't look at his books without feeling repulsion.

at the same time google plus is dying. for a long time this was my primary way of interacting with other gamers. i've met many people and formed a handful of relationships and done a touch of collaborative work. but to be honest, i preferred the days of blogging. in blog form i found fuller ideas than the brief, social media-y conversations that often happened on g+.

i don't know what will happen with the future. certainly i will keep playing dungeons and dragons. i love this game. i have two gaming groups right now. one is my long-standing group from back in Philly, they're all around level 15 now and digging into a megadungeon i've arranged for them. everything hits like 3-4 times a round, or automatically hits from around corners, or deals damage just for moving, or drains experience points, or permanently poisons, or is immune to and reflects all damage, and meanwhile they're creating a small army and trained their giant wolf to wield a sword in his mouth they've trained their mantis-man to fight with his claws and they've hired a famous cook who's also an ex-mob-leader and they have a diving bell which can transport them to hell and their most used and powerful and often exploited tool is a pair of teapots whose top openings creates a teeny-tiny portal between the two teapots and their potionist can make them potions that cast two spells at once, and they know their rival party "the deadboyz" is somewhere in the megadungeon but they're just not sure exactly where and they're terrified. while my new group in oakland is around level 2-3 and we've had two character deaths so far and they've broken into the royal goblin palace, where david bowie sleeps in a glass coffin in the tallest tower and king nurgle rules over an endless party and communist rats are trying to unionize the anarchist crocodiles who just eat them.

and i've changed a lot over the past year as a dungeon master. more open to the unpleasant feelings the game can create, the fears and insecurities that losing and dying create in people, but which are crucial to the creation of an engaging game. and i'm more explicitly interested in running a game that exists in a zone between easy and frustrating, the zone of pleasant challenge that is unique to every game group.

and i've been working piece-meal on publishing my module, the thrice cursed prison of dendric vast. i'm leaning towards just giving it out for free. finishing the job is better than searching for a publisher and never finishing it or delaying it, i think.

that's all for now.

love, nate