Forever into the sunset

So it's what . . .  four months later?

The gang took down the Overking of All the Lands.  They broke into his fortress, released the captive princess Derrida von Chasm from where she was chained beside his throne next to a pile of loot and a wedding bed, transported the loot down the cliffside onto the horses there, lured the Overking and part of his warband into the fortress, dropped the portcullis, turned the ramp that the goblins scrabbled on into mud, greased the walls so the goblins kept falling off, wrested the Seventeen-Eyed Spite Crown from Overking's head, melted his demon armor by pouring metal-to-ice potion through murder holes, pulled from his side the spear that was granting him invulnerability, and turned him to stone with the magic sword that St. Coreme granted them in return for killing the witches Frost and Thorn.

There was a moment of stunned silence and then they fled onto the waiting horses and rode into the sunset.

So that was our last game pretty much.  Turns out that running a campaign over video while trying to acclimate to a new city wasn't as fun as I thought it would be.  But it was a good ending.

I'm scheming to start a new game though.  I keep saying to friends, "Hey, so . . . do you want to play Dungeons and Dragons?"  My boyfriend Bobby says yes.  He even has dice.  "Can I be a robot?"  "Ummm... yes.  Wait, I don't know.  I mean.  Maybe not.  What kind of robot? Only if you can find a really good picture of a robot.  Maybe you should not be a robot.  Well, a robot could be good."  "Why can't I be a robot, Nate?"

Cue days of indecision.

His roommate Glen who owns a cafe in San Francisco says yes.  Bobby's bike mechanic Angus plays Magic the Gathering so I bet he would play Dungeons and Dragons.  My co-worker Ocean says that she hates fantasy and will never play Dungeons and Dragons.  My co-worker Chris says yes, and that the only other time he played a roleplaying game it was Shadowrun, and he made a cloak and wore it.  My roommate Adam says maybe.  I said to Bobby today, "The problem is - what room do we play it in?"  "What are you talking about Nate?"  "We need a large table."  "Can you play without a large table?"  "It's not really that fun.  You might better spend your time doing something else if you don't have a large table."  I looked at his small kitchen table and considered.  "Yours is small."  "Oh but Nate," says he, "it can extend to double its size."  "Ahhh..."

I do not even know what kind of world the campaign would be.  How will I find time to write as well as work as well as work out as well as go to shows in Oakland as well as play Dungeons and Dragons?  I'm very bad at scheduling, when I started playing in Philadelphia I made Shayne do all the scheduling and coordinating.  But then I remember that dream I had with the beautiful medusa in the small room, and the idea of simple initiative but you re-roll initiative every round, and imagine my friends pretending to be knights and witches, and see all these new ideas on the blogs, and I really want to play Dungeons and Dragons.

Meanwhile the gang keeps on riding those horses southward with the treasure and the princess.  Farewell Dirtface and Sad Ed and Jaime von Klaw and Grim and Frederick and the rest.  May we meet again in another reality.

What I've Been Up To

Playing my online game every week or two or three.  It was a month between our previous session and last week's session.  The guys are involved in an assassination attempt on "The Overking of All the Lands," a purple orc with a broken neck and a spear who his side, who's stolen the 17-Eyed Spite Crown of Scorn the Androgyne from the Princess Derrida von Chasm, and taken her as his consort.  Jaime von Klaw (played by Michael Tom), a rich wizard from Belmric and an atheist, got drunk in Olomoc several months ago and was waylaid by thugs, and in his drunken stupor appealed to the God/dess Scorn for protection.  The thugs were turned to stone and he was laden with a geas to retrieve the 17-Eyed Spite Crown and return it to a rightful priest of priestess of Scorn.  Every day he doesn't seek the crown he loses one point from a random stat.

Okay.  So what do I need to make this happen?

I need a villain.  I need a base.  I need a list of all his minions.  I need to know what they're doing and when they do it.  I need a countryside for them to waylay.  I need a country between the players (who were in Olomoc) and the destination (somewhere in the Goblin Wastes).  I need the Goblin Wastes.  So I wrote all of this.

In addition to the standard red goblins who cast magic missile at the person who slays them and yellow goblins who cast confusion on anyone who touches them, we have green goblins as a random wizard, blue goblins who start tiny and grow a size every time they're hit, black goblins who are high level fighters and have special weapons and armor, and white goblins who can cast a single high level spell and are stretched across the shields of the black goblins.

Plus I can use this for the rest of the Overking's minions.  And this for his fortress (more or less).  And I can say that the original builders of the fortress were obsessed with (roll, roll) camels.  And that the warband of the Overking of All the Lands worships (roll, roll) Abjecta, Queen of Maggots.  So they're roaming the countryside, stealing people, planting the maggots of carrion crawlers in their flesh, and cultivating them in preposterous egg-shaped cages on long thin legs.

I got to use this scene.  Frederick Longtooth, a werewolf monk of Fenrath, decided to climb up the cage and cut her throat, dodged the torrent of carrion crawlers maggots that flooded the cage area, and avoided taking I'm pretty sure any damage as his friends doused the swarm with fire.

Afterwards Sad Ed goes "Nate, I'm killing all of the prisoners, and burning their corpses."  "Okay Thomson.  A column of greasy foul-smelling smoke winds upwards over the fortress."

Before this they had a long sneak and kill in the fortress that ended with a running battle with the forces left behind to guard the castle while the Overking and most of the warband were off gathering people for the maggot making process.  They killed so many goblins.  They killed the dark elf cleric Veshtoroc von Toxin.  They set some goat men on fire and sent them running into the shanty-town goblin camp, which caught on fire.  When the Great Grub (size H carrion crawler, HD 8) plugged into their tower and climbed the stairs and started waving its bazillion paralyzing tentacles at them, they threw a potion of turn-to-stone into its mouth and turned it to stone.  When the remaining goblins and tiny jackal men and guys with mouths on their hands and wargs barricaded themselves in the throneroom, Sad Ed drank a potion of eat metal and bit a hole in the door and uncorked a bottle of hallucinatory green smoke and smoked out the goblins and they ran in and murdered everybody.

And there chained to the throne in a chainmail bikini was Derrida von Chasm, lost princess of the Moriad, and a formidable priestess of Scorn.  "Untie this collar at my throat!  For it makes me invisible to the eyes of my God, and unable to cast their magic."

"Right away!" sez they.

"Thanks," sez the princess.  "I was on quest to the Canyons of Pain and Misfortune when I was waylaid by this orc. I would have slain him in an instant, except the weapons of my companions could not wound him, and my spells could not harm him.  Slay him!  I will aid thee."

And now they have a high level priestess on their side, just as the returning warband of the Overking thunders on the horizon, and my players are sending emails back and forth going "Fuck, what do we do? what do we have? how are we going to do this?"  They're very smart.  I'll have to think up something good for Wednesday.

Orostranthy, lost cities, and the shattered labyrinths of Illith Varn

Not so long ago the Goblin Wastes were called Orostranthy, a ragged kingdom of dwarfs and people, which was beset by the dead minions of Orcus to the northeast and the living minions of Urizen to the south. The Silk Wall was erected about eight hundred years ago to block the advances of Urizen's goblins - they spilled from his feathered head when he was slain by Queen Marybelle soon after the beginning of time - but Havith Orr the Goblin City was moved north on the back of a four-headed turtle the size of a mountain. So the Silk Wall instead blocked the remaining southern dwarfs in with the remnants of the demons, the Chaos beastmen, and the demon worshippers which alternately plague and settle the land around Urizen's eternally rotting corpse.

Now the Silk Wall was constructed by an alliance of the people of Orostranthy and the dwarfs, who ruled from their mountain fortress, "The Augur of the Sun." The beastman slaves of the dwarfs and the rough peasantry of Orostranthy pulled the stone from a ruined city of unparalleled beauty which sprawled for nearly a hundred miles between The Augur of the Sun and Orostranthy's capital city, Tcorsk.  When the stones were removed, a twisted, changing landscape remained. The goblins call this land beautiful, and dwell in it.  The dwarfs call it ugly, and live in siege fortresses to block their sight of it. They construct tunnels beneath this land, and exile their traitors into it. People fear this land. Where they could not scavenge all of the stone, districts of the vast city remain, but none reside there except puddings, animals, and beastmen. People who live long in those districts begin to speak old poetry, see ghosts, walk backwards in their sleep, and eat each other.

After the wall was built and Orcus was slain and buried in his Dungeon of Graves, a long decadent peace came upon Orostranthy, until the Black Drake Azhardhul came from the West and established a fortress in the foothills of the Black Mountains, and waged war upon Tcorsk and the monarchy there.  His slaves were chained and branded and made to worship him.  It is said Azhardhul had one hundred legs and four wings and was three miles long, and that the touch of his violet breath turned the living to ash.  Warriors of Orostranthy came to slay him but he was unwounded by their weapons, unturned by their magic.  The maiden Coreme led a heretical cult against his rule, and was flayed and crucified for her sin.  But as she died she prayed to her own holy name, and the dragon turned to black stone.  The freed slaves of Azhardhul made a city from the dragon's body and lived in it, but were raided by northern barbarians, and not a stone remains except for the Shrine to Saint Coreme, still Holy to the people of Orostranthy, who remember but dimly the rule of the Black Drake.

Orostranthy declined. The wizard Illith Varn led an army against Tcorsk, but was driven back into the strange dungeons beneath the Canyons of Pain and Misfortune, in the changing lands south of the Silk Wall, and beheaded by assassins in his sanctum. Wars with the goblins of Havith Orr, internecine warfare, beastman warbands, and demonic incursion led to the loss of previously strong trade with Loth Armanea and the blue elves of the Cobalt Isles; with the white elves of Undying Velenheim; and with Belmric. The country outside Tcorsk became unsafe, and over generations Tcorsk itself dissipated, while the succession of monarchs sought new ways of power: worship of the Angel of Colors, conjuring of airey spirits, consort with the sorcerers of the Black School, and eventual subservience to the skilled dwarfs at the Augur of the Sun. When the dwarfs migrated south to the black jungles of Abazidun to follow the worship of their new diamond god, Orostranthy's isolation became complete.

The highways that cross the kingdom are in disrepair. The labyrinth surrounding Havith Orr has extended far across the landscape, and Havith Orr creeps northward by miles each year. The Silk Wall is unguarded and broken in many places, and kept by monsters in many others. The people of Tcorsk are gone, having sought refuge in other cities - Olomoc, Beldr Tuum, Loth Armanea, the Seat of Worms, Velenheim, and even Belmric and the western cities. Only the palace Solemn Cry remains, where King Roderick sits in his chambers, gazing into the fragment of glacial ice brought to him from the Kraal, and Queen Ang is vanished. No one even remembers how long she's been gone.

And now new rumors issue from the Canyons of Pain and Misfortune: a deep fog billows from the dungeons there, and lights can be seen in the windows of the mesas at night. The Skoros Orb has been found again, in the tunnels far below, where the armies of Illith Varn were driven and slaughtered, but none have recovered it. The flying fortress of the Sky Witch has anchored in the air over the Canyons, and moves not as the weeks pass. And explorers who enter the shattered labyrinths beneath the canyons bring to the surface tales of a golden dragon, a river of slime, the locked gates of a strange city, worshippers of a pantheon of unknown gods, and the lost riches of Illith Varn's army . . .

Thomson shares his ideas for his bard "Sad Ed" with myself and the group

"nate,

the tintinnabulation chamber is an array of special plates that, when set up and properly configured, allows ed to visit a variety of distortions on the beings and material under the influence of the enclosed acoustic environment through special and calculated musical interventions.

here's how it works.

ed surveys his surroundings in order to figure out how to fit the tintinnabulatory chamber into the local environment. he does this by sitting at the intended focal point of the chamber and meditates while humming a hypnotic, tuneless, modulating music -- a mapping tone that returns to his sensitive ears and sonically-sensitive brain a sort of "musical topology" of the environment. the bigger and more complicated the volume, the longer and more difficult the mapping process. a regular, rectangular prism of a room is relatively easy to map. a forest or a convoluted cavern is harder. a flat, airless plain is simple. a windy mountain peak is harder. the harder the mapping, the longer it takes, and the greater the chance that he'll make a crucial error that could compromise -- in perhaps volatile ways -- the magic he lets loose into the chamber after its construction is complete.

after mapping the site, ed uses chalk, grease pencil, paint -- any old marking substance -- to trace out the chamber's schematic. these schematics look like a series of nodes and lines connecting them to each other. the nodes indicate locations where the tintinnabulation tiles should be installed. the connections indicate the relationships they should have -- the lines describing the flow of acoustic information inside the chamber.

next, he installs the tiles. monkey b goode can be trained to help, and the other members of the party can help, too. monkey b goode has a musical ear, too (remember, he has a little guitar? that's how we met, i challenged him to a dual!), so he can set these things up pretty well on his own, and he'll get better. other party members can help, too, by following ed's and goode's directions. ed of course has to do the fine tuning at the end, to make sure the placement is perfect. the tiles are installed using adhesives; nails; magic; suction cups; solvents that join them seamlessly to their host surfaces -- however they need to be, depending on the nature of the installation site. each tile is joined to adjacent tiles with special sonically conductive wire that helps them to maintain rigid relative positions and blend their sounds together.

the tintinnabulation chamber is, essentially, a big, spherical perimeter that prevents all sound generated inside the zone from escaping, and keeps all sound generated outside the zone out. you see, each of its component tiles functions like a one-way acoustic gate, or a kind of cell membrane. each tile vibrates and, depending on the frequency, it lets different sounds in and keeps the rest out. ed controls their vibrations by playing a special song, a song unique to each chamber. the song is the audible counterpart of its chamber -- the "ghost" to the chamber's flesh. he can read each of his chambers like music and improvise different themes for the chamber on his guitar.

what can the tintinnabulation chamber do?

let's say an enemy walks in. by playing an aggressive theme, ed could inflict sonic damage on the enemy from all sides. since sound is pressure waves, a massive attack could simply crush the enemy. or he could heat the enemy up, catch him on fire by playing contrapuntal music that drags the air against itself until it catches. or he could depress, enrage, cheer up, or otherwise emotionally manipulate the enemy. he could cause the enemy to burst or fade away by playing resonant musical frequencies that destabilize the enemy or move the enemy out of phase with natural reality.

the chamber is also a perfectly soundproof space. no one can hear you scream from the outside -- or maybe, if you were screaming inside, maybe even you couldn't hear it. the inside is a soundless void. you hear the rushing of blood in your head, and it drives you mad with fright.

friendlies could also camp inside a similarly soundproof chamber, secure in the knowledge that their voices wouldn't carry into unfriendly territory.

by adjusting the echoes and delays of the chamber, ed can create misleading, disorienting, unbalancing false perceptions about the size, shape, and orientation of the enclosed space, too. it's hard to keep your balance in a sonic hall of mirrors! it fucks up anything that needs an inner ear to stay upright! and maybe you'll lose your lunch, too.

ed can also interpolate roars, whistles, howls, screams, sobs, whispers, coughs, caws, hisses, and any other thinkable sound into the chamber. this could be a good way to hound a murderer with the voices of his victims, or trick an enemy into revealing secrets at what seems to be the request of a friend. or maybe ed just drives a wolfmount insane with high-pitched dog whistles, causing it to turn on its rider! or, by sending out a signal into the night sky, ed could fill the chamber with bloodsucking vampire bats, swarms of stinging insects, or hooting monkeys -- anything attracted to his phony mating calls.

operating on a higher level, ed could use particularly insidious fugues to "hack" the language center's of a being's brain, causing him to spill secrets and think aloud. by playing at certain subsonic frequencies, ed could even induce motion in the bodies of his foes, forcibly casting those in the chamber into a puppet show of his own design. a sort of mind control...

finally, at its most arcane extremities of operation, the chamber, in conjunction with an inspired performance the likes of which ed is barely ever capable, can even transform sounds into stable, standing waves, making the audible into physical matter. the chamber becomes a 3-D printer, a universal constructor, a holodeck that makes use of hard sound instead of hard light. needless to say, the artifacts created within cannot be transported out, but, in their native land, they're real enough. the entire area could become an iron maiden or a block of stone. it could become filled with water. or maybe it just gets full of furniture or simulated people, or illusory, holographic gold. it becomes a space of illusion -- sometimes even deadly illusion.

and there are other uses, too, but i think you get the gist. 

obviously, this is a powerful machine that requires a whole set of skills and a degree of musical prowess that ed has not fully attained. he'll need to learn this sonic mapping meditation humming; the design and installation of the chamber's architecture; and the many complex songs and techniques by which he can unlock its wild variety of powers. he'll need a good ear, a good eye, a good mind. he'll need to study music under bards and casters even greater than he, maybe even find a monastery of musical monks to initiate him into their brotherhood. and he'll need to find gifted magical engineers who can help him build and test the actual tiles and conductive wiring that connects them, too. 

but doesn't this idea sound cool? i think it sounds cool. i'd love to hash out the game mechanics and limits of this idea with you sometime.

yours,

thomson"

Some things that happened

They accidentally traveled four days forward in time due to an unfavorable astrological configuration, which caused their doppelgangers to be forced down from the Primal Void to resolve the paradox.  I was going to have the doppelgangers compete with them in everything they did, but they trapped their doppelgangers in the palace kitchen by having the court wizard send out messengers going, "Oh wow! I figured out how to hatch the egg of the Unmonkey! Where are you?? You should come right away!"

They interrogated Nick's doppelganger's trapped soul and learned about the ongoing war between the seven mighty stars of the Primal Void, which I had written a lengthy and detailed write-up about maybe a year ago, but which I lost in the meantime.  "Umm uhh uhhmmm uh" I said.  "Nate can you just say we know this stuff and we can move on?"  "Yes," I said.  "Okay," they said, and wrote it down on their sheets. "Knowledge.. of the ... what is it?" "Primal Void."  "The Primal... Void..."

They crushed a white elf necromancer with the giant black egg of the ancient unmonkey god Oth Omogg.  They rolled the egg over the necromancer very slowly and laughed while he died.

The turned the mithril bars they found in the secret underground church of Izorides, Goddess of Witches, which was guarded by Velrathi the 1374th God of Wind, into arms and armor.  Good for them.

They procured a guide book for creating a brass golem (to be randomly generated from Carcosa), but I think they've forgot about it.

Thomson rigged his electric generator into a backpack, bought fancy copper wire, and specially rigged up a handful of crossbow bolts to hook into the wire and the generator.  He taught his trained monkey "Monkey B. Goode" how to turn the crank on command.  Here are some people Thomson's tased: a cannibal ape; Hocca Orgemyth, a filthy man in thrall to manscorpions pretending to be a priest of St. Coreme.

They met Grim, an 11-year-old child prostitute sorceress, who is also Nick's girlfriend Meela.  Some mummies were climbing up out of some coffins hanging off a cliffside, and she kicked one off.  When I asked them how they planned to evade the three-headed giant ape god in the forest, she suggested they move "laterally" to the road.  In her words, she plans to only cast dirty, sneaky spells.

Here's a picture she drew of Nick's character Dirtface:

He has a red mallet that when it hits a guy, there's a 30% chance it makes a GONG sound and they phase out of existence for a round, and he has a cloak made from the hides of the Star Hounds that guarded the throneroom of the Damnation Prophet.

What else

They traveled south of Olomoc into the Goblin Wastes.  Hex crawling is made easy with:

1. a hex-map that happens to correspond in part to a map of the Goblin Wastes that I'd already drawn
2. the text-mechanics site to easily generate a list of all the numbers of the hexes, even though they weren't sequential
3. Logan's Choose Your Own Generator website to create a hex generator
4. The 26ish generators I labored over without knowing for sure if they'd actually end up being useful

So they crawled through the Goblin Wastes, evaded the three-headed ape god "Throol Josh," the evil druids riding him, and his army of cannibal apes; and hung out with a knight of Duke Oppelhopf mounted on a snail who told them about the manscorpions infesting the Shrine of St. Coreme, and also about a purple orc warlock in a spiked iron crown marauding the town of Beldr Tuum to the east, and also about the kingdom of King Roderick and Queen Ang to the south which borders on the domain of Urizen, Lord of Change, whose corpse blights the landscape near the Academy of Thaumaturgica Delirium.




Finally finally they made it to the Shrine of St. Coreme, who as reward for killing some witches a long time ago, promised to mend their wounds and grant them a weapon of great power if ever they visited her shrine.

Me: "There's a broad, shallow lake filled with dead tree trunks, fed by two streams.  At the far end of the lake a black pyramid rises from the water, and atop the pyramid is a black obelisk."

Them: "This shrine is a lot more metal than I thought it was going to be."

Cool.  They slew the false priest and kneeled before the likeness of St. Coreme, who was crucified upside down on a cross for her heresy against Azhardhul, the Blake Drake.  She opened her marble eyes and the heavens parted and she peeled her withered hand away from the cross and touched them on their foreheads, and all their ills were cured: the blue gorillas that were living in their dreams leapt from their minds; the mind of Skoraz the Wizard flew screaming from Nick's psyche; Jeff's mummy rotted bite closed up; and Thomson's false body, which he accidentally inhabited after misfiring a wand at the Damnation Prophet months and months ago, and which was tall, grim, ugly, and composed of poisonous snakes, that body melted off of him like wax, and exposed good old scrawny Sad Ed.

Everyone high fived.  Good game.  This game is a good game.

Big Automated Random Wizard Generator

Random Wizard (click there)

Some of the component parts include:

50 Wizard Powers (cribbed in part from here)

1 Wizard Lie 1/day
2 Wizard Lie 3/day
3 Wizard Lie 5/day
4 Always Levitating d6"
5 Immune to Fear
6 Never need sleep!
7 Cat Familiar
8 Crow Familiar
9 Rat Familiar
10 Weasel Familiar
11 Monkey Familiar
12 Shadow Familiar
13 Counterspell 1/day
14 Counterspell 2/day
15 Counterspell 3/day
16 Random Mutation
17 Spell DC+2
18 Attack +2
19 Calloused flesh, AC +4
20 Speak with Objects 1/day
21 Demonic Ally
22 d4+3 Monster Allies
23 Mind Controlled NPC Thrall
24 Fighter ally of equal level
25 Wizard Ally (roll again)
26 Powerful Wizard Protector, Far Away (roll again, level+5)
27 Another wizard inside mind emerges at half health, acts as a separate monster with shared hitpoints
28 Removable Face (another face beneath)
29 Removable Eye
30 Removable Hand
31 Removable Tongue
32 Human Form
33 Animal Form
34 Eat Brains to Learn Spells
35 Extra Highest Level Spell Stored in Item
36 Soul Kept in Phylactery
37 "Staff shall be splintered"
38 Poisonous Shadow
39 Fractal (creates miniatures when damaged)
40 Completely Alien Mind
41 Spellbook Tattooed on Body
42 Double duration 1/day
43 Cast as free action 1/day
44 Bring spell to life 1/week; HD=spell level; AC=caster INT; attack as fighter; lasts indefinitely; can self destruct to cast self
45 Eyes have no pupils (immune to gaze attacks)
46 Cast offensive spell on death
47 Contingency to cast defensive spell
48 Knows 1 more spell of level+1
49 Long, sharpened nails (damage d6)
50 Teleport back to wizard stronghold 1/week

d20 Wizard Weaponry

1 Dagger
2 Longsword
3 Shortsword
4 Staff
5 Fists
6 Old trumpet
7 Rusty knife
8 Broken staff
9 Dog
10 Spear
11 Torch
12 Crossbow
13 Sling
14 Shortbow
15 Longbow
16 Vials of acid
17 Javelin snakes
18 Hunting hawk
19 Boomerang
20 Bloody rock

"What's In Its Pockets" d100 table

1 Star-ended wand (nonfunctioning)
2 Metal wand (nonfunctioning)

3 Glittery wand (nonfunctioning)
4 Broken wooden wand (nonfunctioning)
5 Fingernails of local saint; heals 2d10 when powdered and brewed into drink
6 Radioactive coal
7 Dead cat
8 Goldfish in aquarium
9 Preserved shark
10 Fluorescent octopus in jar
11 Blacklight fungus in glass orb
12 A blindheim in hooded lantern
13 Pickled frog
14 Pickled eggs
15 Reading glasses
16 Nudie cards
17 Old boot
18 Sword handle
19 Handcuffs
20 Small hammer
21 Red high heels
22 Loaded dice
23 Normal dice
24 Deed to house in random city
25 Rabbit's foot
26 Mistletoe
27 Dominoes
28 Broken comb
29 Hoop earring
30 Hook hand
31 Bag of teeth
32 Holy symbol
33 Rusty chain
34 Padlock (no key)
35 Bag of nails
36 A filthy plate
37 Women’s underwear in brown envelope
38 Leather sack containing (roll again)
39 Leather gloves
40 Fingerless gloves
41 3d6 belts
42 Bag of broken glass
43 Bag of broken blue glass
44 A landscape painting
45 Fingernail polish
46 Mildewy socks
47 Fly on a string
48 Small locked chest containing cobra
49 Local key with value d20
50 Crude map of nearby dungeon with directions to entrance
51 Crude map of dungeon players are in
52 Sewing needles and black ink
53 Detailed notes on random monster
54 Recipe to random potion
55 A random potion
56 d4-1 random potions
57 A random scroll of level d6-1
58 A random scroll of level 2d4-1
59 Jar of fireflies
60 Black pudding in glass orb
61 A lich's phylactery
62 Tiny stone figurine, is petrified/miniaturized foe of wizard, will offer reward if rescued
63 d100 gold stamped with mark of hostile kingdom
64 Handwritten bounty for PC's issued by new random villain
65 Picture of PC's sister in locket
66 An arrow of slaying
67 Rolled up fancy rug
68 Bad smelling cheap incense
69 Dried fungus, provides +2 to spell DC for 6hrs if burned and inhaled, but -4 to Wis and Cha
70 Incomplete formula to random level 8 or 9 spell (find another to get a scroll)
71 A goat
72 Bottle of cheap hooch
73 Nearly empty bottle of expensive hooch
74 Bottle of homemade hooch (save v poison or unconscious immediately)
75 Bottle of hallucinatory hooch (drink the entire bottle and hallucinate for d12 hours)
76 Bottle of black hooch, drinker may march at full speed while fatigued
77 Shrunken head, provides 1 oracular answer per week if fed 1d6x100gp (as scrying)
78 Tiny idol of horrible, previously unknown god
79 Minotaur horns
80 Unicorn hoooves
81 Dead crow
82 Shriveled hand
83 An iron crown, which a powerful wight tirelessly seeks to recover
84 Salt shaker
85 10’ pole
86 Sealing caulk - when applied to the seams of a door, seals the door shut
87 Carton of cigarettes
88 Three-headed snake in cage
89 Banjo
90 Bucket of paint (random color)
91 d10xLevel gp
92 d100xLevel gp
93 Bad dream in a bottle, as random fortune
94 Crawling claw
95 Medusa’s eye in fancy padded case
96 d4+1 black candles
97 Hand of glory
98 A rock all wrapped up in rope; if the rope is cut or untied, the rock suddenly expands to fill d20xd20xd20 foot area
99 Handwritten guide to initiatory rites of top secret wizard organization
100 A chest containing a chained-up person, as well as (roll again)

Offensive Spells

1 Acid Arrow
2 Acid Cloud
3 Aerial Servant
4 Animal Growth
5 Animal Summoning I
6 Animal Summoning II
7 Animal Summoning III
8 Animate Dead
9 Animate Dead Monsters
10 Animate Object
11 Animate Rock
12 Attraction
13 Avoidance
14 Banishment
15 Battering Gauntlets
16 Beguiling
17 Besieging Bolt
18 Bestow Curse
19 Bind
20 Black Tentacles
21 Blacklight Burst
22 Blackmote
23 Blade Barrier
24 Blazing Beam
25 Blindness
26 Boiling Bath
27 Burning Hands
28 Cacodemon
29 Call Lightning
30 Call Woodland Beings
31 Cause Blindness
32 Cause Critical Wounds
33 Cause Disease
34 Cause Fear
35 Cause Light Wounds
36 Cause Paralysis
37 Cause Serious Wounds
38 Chain Lightning
39 Charm Monster
40 Charm Person
41 Charm Person or Mammal
42 Charm Plants
43 Chaos  
44 Chill Metal
45 Chill Touch
46 Chromatic Orb
47 Clenched Fist
48 Cloak of Fear
49 Cloudkill
50 Color Spray
51 Command
52 Cone Of Cold  
53 Confusion
54 Conjure Animals
55 Conjure Earth Elemental
56 Conjure Elemental
57 Conjure Fire Elemental
58 Control Undead
59 Creeping Doom
60 Crushing Hand
61 Crystal Dagger
62 Crystal Dirk
63 Crystal Rhythms
64 Crystalbrittle
65 Darkness
66 Darkness ’ Radius
67 Deadly Strike
68 Deafness
69 Death Fog
70 Death Screen
71 Death Spell
72 Delayed Blast Fire Ball
73 Demi-Shadow Magic
74 Demi-Shadow Monsters
75 Destruction
76 Diamond Screen
77 Digit of Disruption
78 Disc of Concordant Opposition  
79 Disintegrate
80 Disjunction
81 Dismissal
82 Dolor
83 Drums of Despair
84 Dust Devil
85 Earthquake
86 Ebony Tendrils
87 Electric Arc
88 Electrical Screen
89 Energy Drain
90 Enmeshment
91 Entangle
92 Excruciating Screen
93 Explosive Runes
94 Eyebite
95 Fantastic Fencers
96 Fascinate
97 Fear
98 Feeblemind
99 Finger of Death
100 Fire and Ice
101 Fire Seeds
102 Fire Storm
103 Fire Trap
104 Fireball
105 Firewater
106 Flame Arrow
107 Flame Blade
108 Flame Strike
109 Flaming Blade
110 Flaming Sphere
111 Flash
112 Flesh to Stone
113 Footsore
114 Forget
115 Freezing Sphere
116 Fumble  
117 Giant Insect
118 Go Down
119 Gong of Isolation
120 Grasping Hand
121 Grease
122 Grue Conjuration
123 Gust of Wind
124 Harm
125 Heat Metal
126 Hold Animal
127 Hold Monster
128 Hold Person
129 Hold Plant
130 Hold Undead
131 Holy Word
132 Hunting Hawk
133 Hypnotic Pattern
134 Hypnotism
135 Ice Storm
136 Imprisonment
137 Improved Phantasmal Force
138 Incendiary Cloud
139 Insect Plague
140 Interposing Hand
141 Invisible Stalker
142 Irresistible Dance
143 Lamentable Belabourment
144 Lightburst
145 Lightning Bolt
146 Magic Missile
147 Malediction
148 Maze
149 Meteor Swarm
150 Meteors
151 Minor Curse
152 Minute Meteors
153 Monster Summoning I
154 Monster Summoning II
155 Monster Summoning III
156 Monster Summoning IV
157 Monster Summoning V
158 Monster Summoning VI
159 Monster Summoning VII
160 Moonbeam
161 Mummy Touch
162 Paralyzation
163 Phantasmal Force
164 Phantasmal Killer
165 Plague
166 Poison
167 Poison Touch
168 Polar Screen
169 Power Word, Blind
170 Power Word, Kill
171 Power Word, Stun
172 Primal Fury
173 Prismatic Sphere
174 Prismatic Spray
175 Prismatic Wall
176 Produce Fire
177 Produce Flame
178 Push
179 Pyrotechnics
180 Radiant Arch
181 Radiant Baton
182 Radiant Screen
183 Rainbow Pattern
184 Ray of Enfeeblement
185 Repulsion
186 Resilient Sphere
187 Reverse Gravity
188 Reversed Temporal Fugue
189 Scare
190 Sepia Snake Sigil
191 Serpent Missile
192 Shades
193 Shadow Magic
194 Shadow Monsters
195 Shatter
196 Shillelagh
197 Shocking Grasp
198 Shout
199 Shrink Animal
200 Shrink Insect
201 Silence 10’ Radius
202 Silencing Hand
203 Slay Living
204 Sleep
205 Slow
206 Smoky Sphere
207 Snare
208 Spectral Force
209 Spike Growth
210 Spike Stones
211 Spiritual Hammer
212 Staff of Smiting
213 Steaming Sphere
214 Sticks to Snakes
215 Stinking Cloud
216 Strangling Grip
217 Summon Insects
218 Summon Shadow
219 Sunburst
220 Sunray
221 Sword
222 Symbol
223 Telekinesis
224 Telekinetic Sphere
225 Temporal Fugue
226 Temporal Stasis
227 Tin Soldiers
228 Tonal Attack
229 Trap
230 Uncontrollable Laughter
231 Undead Drain
232 Unholy Word
233 Wall of Fire
234 Web
235 Weird
236 Whip
237 Wither
238 Wyvern Watch

Defensive Spells

1 Aid
2 Air Walk
3 Alarm
4 Anti-Animal Shell
5 Anti-Magic Shell
6 Antipathy/Sympathy
7 Anti-Plant Shell
8 Armor
9 Attraction
10 Avoidance
11 Barkskin
12 Benediction
13 Beneficent Polymorph
14 Blade Barrier
15 Bless
16 Blur
17 Canticle
18 Change Self
19 Changestaff
20 Chant
21 Charm Monster
22 Charm Person
23 Charm Person or Mammal
24 Charm Plants
25 Chime of Release
26 Clairvoyance
27 Cloak of Bravery
28 Cloak Undead
29 Conceal Alignment
30 Conceal Charm
31 Continual Darkness
32 Cure Blindness
33 Cure Critical Wounds
34 Cure Disease
35 Cure Light Wounds
36 Cure Minor Wounds
37 Cure Serious Wounds
38 Dancing Lights
39 Dancing Werelight
40 Darkness
41 Darkness 10’ Radius
42 Deadly Strike
43 Defense Against Lycanthropes
44 Defense Against Reptiles
45 Delude
46 Destroy Water
47 Dextrous Digits
48 Diamond Screen
49 Dimension Door
50 Dismiss Earth Elemental
51 Dismiss Fire Elemental
52 Dismissal
53 Dispel Evil
54 Dispel Exhaustion
55 Dispel Good
56 Dispel Illusion
57 Dispel Magic
58 Dispel Silence
59 Dispelling Screen
60 Distance Distortion
61 Duo-Dimension
62 Electrical Screen
63 Endure Cold
64 Endure Heat
65 Enlarge
66 Enmeshment
67 Entangle
68 Enveloping Darkness
69 ESP
70 Exaction
71 Excruciating Screen
72 Eye of the Eagle
73 Eye of the Tiger
74 Faerie Fire
75 Faithful Hound
76 Faithful Phantom Defenders
77 Faithful Phantom Guardian
78 Faithful Shield-Maidens
79 Feather Fall
80 Feign Death
81 Fire Shield
82 Fire Trap
83 Flame Walk
84 Fly
85 Flying Feat
86 Fog Cloud
87 Force Sculpture
88 Force Umbrella
89 Forcecage
90 Forcecube
91 Forget
92 Fortunes of War
93 Freedom
94 Gaze Reflection
95 Globe Of Invulnerability
96 Glyph of Warding
97 Grease
98 Guards & Wards
99 Gust of Wind
100 Hallucinatory Forest
101 Hallucinatory Terrain
102 Haste
103 Heal
104 Hold Animal
105 Hold Monster
106 Hold Person
107 Hold Plant
108 Hold Portal
109 Hold Undead
110 Holy Symbol
111 Holy Word
112 Hypnotic Pattern
113 Hypnotism
114 Ice Storm
115 Improved Invisibility
116 Infravision
117 Instant Exit
118 Instant Summons
119 Interposing Hand
120 Invisibility
121 Invisibility 10’ Radius
122 Invisibility to Animals
123 Invisibility to Undead
124 Jump
125 Levitate
126 Light
127 Light Step
128 Lizard to Log
129 Magic Mouth
130 Magic Stone
131 Magical Vestment
132 Major Ward
133 Marvelous Shield
134 Mask
135 Mass Charm
136 Mass Invisibility
137 Mass Suggestion
138 Massmorph
139 Masterpiece Force Sculpture
140 Meditation
141 Meld Into Stone  
142 Mind Blank
143 Mind Scan
144 Mind Shield
145 Minor Globe of Invulnerability
146 Minor Ward
147 Mirror Image
148 Misdirection
149 Mislead
150 Move Earth
151 Negative Plane Protection
152 Neutralize Poison
153 Non-detection
154 Obscure Alignment
155 Obscure Object
156 Obscurement
157 Orb of Containment
158 Paralyzation
159 Pass Plant
160 Pass Without Trace
161 Passwall
162 Phantom Armor
163 Phase Door
164 Plant Door
165 Plant Growth
166 Polar Screen
167 Prayer
168 Prismatic Sphere  
169 Prismatic Wall
170 Private Sanctum
171 Protection from Avians
172 Protection from Cantrips
173 Protection from Evil
174 Protection from Evil ’ Radius
175 Protection from Fire
176 Protection from Gas
177 Protection from Good
178 Protection from Good ’ Radius
179 Protection from Insects
180 Protection from Lightning
181 Protection from Normal Missiles
182 Protection from Scrying
183 Protection from Slime
184 Radiant Screen
185 Reduce
186 Regenerate
187 Remove Curse
188 Remove Fear
189 Remove Paralysis
190 Repel Insects
191 Repulsion
192 Resilient Sphere
193 Resist Cold
194 Resist Fire
195 Restoration
196 Resurrection
197 Revenance
198 Rope Trick
199 Run
200 Running Warrior
201 Sanctuary
202 Scent Mask
203 Secure Shelter
204 Sepia Snake Sigil
205 Sequester
206 Shadow Door
207 Shadow Walk
208 Shape Change
209 Shield
210 Silence10 ’ Radius
211 Silencing Hand
212 Silver Tongue
213 Simulacrum
214 Sleep
215 Slow
216 Slow Poison
217 Smoky Sphere
218 Snake Charm
219 Snakes to Sticks
220 Snare
221 Solid Fog
222 Soothing Vibrations
223 Spectral Force
224 Spectral Guard
225 Spell Immunity
226 Spider Climb
227 Spike Growth
228 Spike Stones
229 Statue
230 Steady Aim
231 Stinking Cloud
232 Stone Shape
233 Stoneskin
234 Strength
235 Succor
236 Superior Force Sculpture
237 Swift Mount
238 Telekinesis
239 Telekinetic Sphere
240 Telepathic Bond
241 Teleport
242 Teleport Dead
243 Teleport Without Error
244 Temporal Fugue
245 Temporal Reinstatement
246 Temporal Stasis
247 Tiny Hut
248 Tonal Attack
249 Tones of Forgetfulness
250 Transmute Metal to Wood
251 Transmute Mud to Rock
252 Transmute Rock to Mud
253 Transmute Water to Dust
254 Transport via Plants
255 True Seeing
256 True Sight
257 Turn Wood
258 Ultravision
259 Undetectable Lie
260 Vacancy
261 Vanish
262 Veil
263 Ventriloquism
264 Vicissitude
265 Wall of Fire
266 Wall of Fog
267 Wall of Force
268 Wall of Ice
269 Wall of Iron
270 Wall of Stone
271 Wall of Thorns
272 Ward Against Undead
273 Warding Tones
274 Water Walk
275 Web
276 Wind Walk
277 Wind Wall
278 Wizard Lock
279 Wraithform